think ive reached the end of the road

[anyoldname76]

Loads of back story with dh, we've tried move past it but its all gone wrong again this weekend.

Basically I had a wedding invitation, I asked him to come with me (was quite a big deal as we struggle to socialise together) he as usual said it was too far in advance to make plans and would let me know nearer the time. Invite was received around 5 weeks ago.

Fast forward to Friday, he said he'd like to come but by then was too late to arrange a babysitter. I went on my own which he was a bit miffed about.

I got in around 11.30, I didn't drink as I was driving and he was already in bed. I got up on Sunday, I had a lie in (the 1st time since Christmas) and when I came downstairs he was giving me the cold shoulder treatment. I asked him why and before you know it he was raising his voice at me, I told him to stop shouting and he told me to shut up. I said don't say that to me and he said shut up again then don't speak to me.

Things have been really frosty since and he's now gone out, won't tell me where or when he'll be back.

I'm just so fed up, everytime I go out its the same.

Ive posted under a different name about him before.

Sorry for all the he said, she said stuff

I don't know about the back story but he doesn't appear to like you very much. I really don't understand the 'too far ahead' thing about a wedding invitation. It's either a yes or a no, isn't it? The diary is either empty or full? Shouting at you and telling you to shut up is pretty unpleasant. Don't care what the reason is.

Do you need help getting him to leave?

He certainly sounds like an utter twat to me. Punishing you for his own arselike behaviour. I don't suppose anyone'd blame you for getting thd locks changed while he's away sulking. Wanker.

He hasn't got any friends and never goes out so it was just an excuse to keep me in the dark I think or maybe for me to not go at all.
He won't leave, he doesn't work and does the childcare when I'm at work. He's threatened in the past to take the children.
I feel very trapped, I don't think he likes me either, he never shows any interest in anything I do unless it concerns him. I said that to him a while ago and for a few days he would ask about my day etc then it stopped again.

If you feel mostly trapped by the threat that he will take the children then you need legal advice from someone who has experience of domestic abuse cases and find out your rights and responsibilities. Have you ever done that?

No, when he said it (over a year ago) I did go the cab but they said I needed professional advice which I couldn't afford. Tbh I think it was an idle threat as he only just copes with looking after them when I'm at work, as soon as I get in its all down to me.

The reason I feel trapped is that he's got no money and doesn't speak to his family, I don't know why but I feel responsible kicking him out on the street. I shouldn't really as he's bought it on himself.

Some Solicitors can do a free 30 minute consult; I would speak to a couple of Solicitors in your town. You are not as powerless as you think you are. NO man is above the law and you can get him out of your home. I doubt very much as well that he was at all interested in changing because this abusive behaviour of his is his true nature.

He reads as controlling re the wedding invite and controlling behaviour is abusive behaviour. Its all about power and control and he wants absolute over you.

Perhaps you feel that on some level you are the only thing he has left (it really should be no surprise at all to see that he has no friends and stays at home to supposedly look after the children) but he really does only see you as a "thing" to use and abuse as he sees fit. You are beneath contempt in his eyes and he likely hates all women to boot. I would also read up on co-dependency within a relationship as well.

Is this really the model of a relationship you would want your children to emulate as adults?.