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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Being Harassed while pregnant

20 replies

irkmomma · 21/04/2014 12:47

I am 15 weeks pregnant with my second child. During my first pregnancy, an old "friend" of my baby's father was body shaming me. He would compare my growing body to that of a whale, manatee, and a hippo. He would insult me in other ways and say i ruined his friendship with my partner. Then after the baby came, he tried to force his way into our life. He would try every weekend to 'crash' at our place. (while i am caring for my child, he would invade our space!) My partner did little about it. This cause major problems for my child's father and I.
Things came to a head one day and I told the dickbag to get out of my house.
It has been almost two years and this person is harassing me again as i am pregnant with my second child. He has "jokingly" threatened me with physical violence and is again trying to go out of his way to cause stress to me and my unborn child. Almost all mutual friends between me and this guy have been impartial in the matter. It is as if no one has the gumption to tell this guy he should go to hell. What he is doing is downright evil. To try to harm an unborn child is despicable. It makes me feel very depressed to feel so alone in this. No one has stepped up to try to help me in the situation.

OP posts:
AlpacaYourThings · 21/04/2014 12:49

And your DP is ok with his friend behaving this way towards you?

diddlediddledumpling · 21/04/2014 12:50

I'm sorry you're feeling depressed, but I'm not sure what you want help to do. Is he coming to your house? If not, just ignore him. Block him on fb/block texts. He'll eventually get bored.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 21/04/2014 12:51

Does your husband still maintain a friendship with him? If so, that's your problem.

Morgause · 21/04/2014 12:52

Your problem is more with your DP not telling this bloke where to go.

CogitoEggySometimes · 21/04/2014 13:00

Agree that your problem is not only with this weirdo but with your partner who is clearly not standing up for you. Your 'friends' sound useless as well. Any threat of physical violence, jokey or otherwise, and I suggest you report him to the police.

Nomama · 21/04/2014 13:08

so you have told him one before, do it again. There is a beautiful MN saying just for twats like him, you know

Fuck off to the far side of fuck, etc.

Tell your DP he needs to man up and, basically, don't deviate from telling this idiot his actions are wholly reprehensible. Ask your friends why they think his actions are OK? Ask them the same question every time he starts, literally "Why on Earth do you think what he just said is acceptable?"

Good luck!

irkmomma · 21/04/2014 13:10

My DP had cut ties with this person when my son was about 3 months old. The harassment continues. Wanted to file a PFA with my local police but the filing process takes weeks.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 21/04/2014 13:11

Erm I'm a bit confused. Where is your dp in all this?

If no one can get through to this man and he has actually made threats to you or the baby, then you need to discuss this with the police.

Finola1step · 21/04/2014 13:12

X post.

So how is this man still in contact with you?

AlpacaYourThings · 21/04/2014 13:12

He sounds like he has an unhealthy obsession with you, I would report it o the police and ask them to talk to him.

CogitoEggySometimes · 21/04/2014 13:13

No idea what a PFA process is. You and your partner call the 101 number (assuming you're in the UK) and make a complaint.

MyDHhasnomemory · 21/04/2014 13:27

Can you explain how he is harassing you if your DP, and presumably you, are not in contact with him?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 21/04/2014 13:41

How does he have access to you to harass you?
Block him from Facebook
Change your number
Refuse to speak to anyone who tries to facilitate contact
If he turns up at your house call the police
Call 101 and make a report.

RedRoom · 21/04/2014 16:58

I don't understand why, if this is your partner's friend, your partner is doing absolutely nothing to intervene or, given that this is the second time round, they are even friends.

RedRoom · 21/04/2014 17:00

Sorry, just re-read and saw that they have cut contact. In which case, how and why is this guy coming into contact with you? And why doesn't your partner step in on your behalf since your friends are too cowardly to?

Olddear · 21/04/2014 17:09

Is this real?? Not convinced....

CogitoEggySometimes · 21/04/2014 17:12

Is 'body shaming' an actual thing? Hmm

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 21/04/2014 17:44

Why would you even have mutual friends? Why do you have any contact with him?

Lweji · 21/04/2014 17:47

If he threatened you with violence, you should report it to the police. And you should report the harassment as well.

Hissy · 21/04/2014 18:57

He did what? And your dp is standing by, doing what exactly?

Wtaf?

Call the police on 101 and show them any evidence you have, get this twat shut down.

I don't understand why your friends think this is acceptable either?

Are you not telling them what this twat is saying? For fear of embarrassment or something?

This guy's breaking laws all over the shop. Get him shut up by those who can make him stfu.

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