What Was Your Worst Date Ever?

[LuluJakey1]

I have a number that would qualify for this but I'll start with this one. When I was about 20- a few years ago now(!) - I was asked out by a bloke on my course at Uni. He lived at home and was very old fashioned and I felt sorry for him so always included him when we were going for coffee between lectures etc. Anyway, I was horrified when he asked me but not quick enough to say no or make an excuse. He was delighted, in a 20yrs going on 75yrs kind of way. We arranged to meet outside a cinema in Newcastle- called The Tyneside; art deco, cool films , my sort of thing. When I arrived it was pouring an he was standing outside on grey crimpelene trousers, a red and grey striped tie, a white shirt and a grey V necked buttoned up cardigan like my grandad wore, topped off by a short tight blue kagool with the hood up. He was short and chubby and had a terrible hair cut and wore old fashioned glasses. I saw him from across the road ad contemplated just going home but felt guilty. I thought I would go for a drink or 2 and then leave. I went across and he said we were going to one of his favourite places- not the cinema bar as I had hoped- and wouldn't tell me where. We walked in the pouring rain, me in a blue velvet jacket and jeans, to Eldon Square shopping centre and ended up at the the indoor bowling green where there were about 50 men in their 70s playin carpet bowls. I was stunned into silence. The 'bar' sold soft drinks and we had to sit on white plastic picnic type chairs around the bowling green. He told he often went there and then spent an hour providing a non- stop, mind-numbing running commentary on the games. He didn't seem to notice I wasn't listening. I was desperately trying to think of an excuse to leave. In the end I said, pathetically, that I had to be back at the hall of residence by 9 because my mum was ringing because my grandma was ill. I walked back in the downpour and the blue dye ran out of my velvet jacket and dyed my white shirt. I was wet through. My friends in the hall all thought I was mad for going in the first place but laughed themselves silly when they saw me.
He asked me out at least once a week for the next term. I had split up with my boyfriend and we got back together and this bloke still kept asking me out. One night me and boyfriend were at a party and this bloke turned up. Boyfriend went to loo and I was cornered and told he thought we were meant for each other and I should dump boyfriend. Boyfriend returned and told him to leave me alone or he would flatten him. Took the hint.
I should have just said no in the first place!

Met a guy online dating a few years ago. He was very persistent about meeting me and also very suspicious as he'd had someone mess him about with OD before so wanted to webcam etc first and see full length pictures etc. I declined but for some stupid reason (curiosity?) still agreed to meet him. He insisted on meeting at a very posh hotel for drinks and spent the next two hours showing me photos of his house, telling me how rich and successful he was, and showing me no interest at all except to comment on my body parts. The food at the hotel smelt divine and I was starving, but when he offered to get us a meal I couldn't bring myself to spend another moment in his company and faked a childcare emergency.

We parted ways but not before he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and I had to physically shove him off me. He then shouted after me across the car park 'You've got a great arse!' I few minutes later I got a text saying he wished I'd taken him back to mine to make love. Boak.
I ended up getting a sandwich from the co-op on the way home having turned down a 5 star meal, and he then texted me again later that night and asked if I could provide feedback in report form on how he'd performed on the date.

I spent a painful couple of hours being spat at by a first ( and last) date. The chap was so boring and couldn't say many words without spitting. We were sitting opposite each other in a pub, I tried to surreptitiously move out of his range of fire but he kept moving forward, saying that he hadn't put his glasses on and couldn't see me properly if I was too far away!

I have a friend who went on a first date with a guy she met in a bar. He turned out to be a gay film porn star. He did penetration and insisted he was acting and not gay himself, despite having to be actually aroused himself to penetrate another man's butt hole.

I couldn't get my head around it. But my friend decided on another date with him before calling it quits.

Years ago, I briefly dated a guy I'd met at a wedding. Not v attractive (buck toothed, balding) but I liked him.

Things started badly after he cancelled our first date. When we finally met, he told me he'd masturbated over me - shucks, how romantic.

First time we kissed, all I could think of was his buck teeth pressing into my mouth and his horrible tongue lashing around like a snake. Also, his woolly jumper smelt fusty.

I did sleep with him once and it was awful. His bedroom had blankets hanging from the windows and he wore a t-shirt with a picture of David Baddiel on it. After the deed was done, he kept saying that he wished he hadn't shagged me and that he wasn't over his ex. He was horrible.

The final time I saw him was the deal breaker. He invited two little old men into his house and I had to sit and talk to them, all evening, whilst he spoke to some female (his ex?) on the telephone for hours.

Didn't return his calls after that.

Oh God, this was years ago. It was a group date with someone I had met up with a few times before, again in a group of friends situation. We had kissed but nothing else.

We went for a meal which turned into a drinking contest and I in my nervous state proceeded to get absolutely trashed. I don't know whether it was this that put the guy off or what, but at a bar afterwards he kept buying drinks for this random girl who had turned up and although my friends kept trying to get rid of her, he insisted on keeping her around in front of me. She was clearly very keen on him. While she went to the loo I asked him privately (for shame) if he wanted to meet up another time for a film or something, just the two of us. He said he didn't think so. I then spent a very awkward few more hours while my friends kept badgering me to speak to him more and didn't understand why we weren't talking!

Cringe.

I would quite happily never have spoken to him again, but he kept sending me texts afterwards apologising and saying "it's clear you wanted a serious relationship" WTF? From one invitation to watch a film? all I wanted was a shag

Greyhound a t-shirt with David Baddiel on it? Two little old men? sorry but that's hilarious!!

This was many years ago and was actually a second date.

It was a bloke at work who I'd known for several years. I didn't particulalry fancy him but I'd not actually been out with anyone in several years so decided to give it a go.

First date totally normal and without incident. Quick good night kiss on the doorstep was as far as it went. So ok but nothing special.

Due to conflicting work schedules second date wasn't until several weeks later. Also that particular week I'd been working very long hours and was quite tired. I rang him on date day to warn him I may get kept on at work so if he wanted to make other arrangements that was fine. He said that it was ok and we'd see how it panned out.

Ended up meeting at a pub near me. He then suggested a 'lovely pub' that he knew so I agreed to follow him there in my car. I was drinking soft drinks due tiredness and driving. He was drinking pints. Suddenly he says to me, 'So I went shopping today. I didn't know what you wanted for breakfast so I got cereal and stuff for a cooked breakfast. What would you prefer??' Now I genuinely thought he was joking so just laughed at first. It then became apparent that he was serious and expected me to spend the night. I politely and firmly said 'No' at which point he turned nasty and called me a 'prick tease'. I got up to leave and had to listen to him shouting abuse at me and basically accusing him of 'leading him on'.

It was quite surreal! Now his behaviour was obviously totally out of order but I knew that I hadn't done anything to lead him on in any way as I didn't particularly fancy him so hadn't been flirting or anything. Bizarre. ( He did ring several days later and left a message on my answerphone apologising)

Several years later I met someone who had actually gone out with him just after me and married him. Apparently he spent the whole of the wedding sulking and refusing to speak to her because she had spent more time talking to relatives who had travelled from abroad to the wedding than to him. The marriage ended 3 years later when he threatened to assault one of her children so she ended up packing all her bags and doing a moonlight flit in the middle of the night.

Greyhound Why did you see him once never mind more than once
I wonder if the men in these dates recall them the same way? My OH has been having a laugh reading them and being incredulous that anyone would go back for a second date. Then he reminded me of our worst date.

Been together about a month. Just started sleeping together. Went to a party at a friend's round the corner. Now, I'm not much of a drinker really because I have no tolerance for alcohol. When I went in the kitchen she was making punch. I drank one glass and she poured me another. I went off to find OH with it and with a glass for him. He took a drink and asked what was in it. I said lots of fruit juice- which I thought was true. He said he thought Not. He didn't drink his and was talking with some mates when he realised I had gone very quiet. He said I was pale and looked sick. He took me home and I was staggering drunk. He sat me on the garden wall while he opened the door and I fell over backwards into the front street, legs in the air up the wall. He picked me up- no mean feet- and carried me into the house and sat me on the sofa. I drank some water and he helped me up to bed. He had to undress me. I had been in bed a few minute when I felt sick. It went on for hours. He trailed back and forwards to the loo with me. He held my hair back, wiped my face, rubbed my back, gote drinks of water. I remember crying as I sat on the loo floor and him stroking my hair. At one point I was sick on him. Ewwww! The next day I had a terrible hangover and stayed in bed- mortified at what I had done. I was bruised all down my back from falling off the wall. He watched the football on the telly and kept bringing me tea and yoghurt and painkillers. Ran me a bath at teatime and rubbed ibruleve into bruises afterwards.

Keeper

But I have never heard the end of it.

Another Internet one here

We arranged to meet outside a city centre bar and I got there 5 minutes before we were due to meet, waited until 10 past then text him to find out where he was -he was inside as he got cold waiting!
I asked him to come and get me as the bar was packed and I couldn't see him and he laughed and said no -I should have walked at that point

We sat down and he was that close he was practically sat on my knee, started talking about all the money he earned and how important he was, kept trying to touch my leg etc although he did stop when I told him too

We had a few drinks and he kept trying to put his arm round me so I made my excuses and called a taxi

Taxi pulls up and he tries to give me a goodnight kiss so I jumped into the taxi at the same time 3 other women also get in
Turns out it was their taxi but they were going to the same town as me so I begged them to let me share so I could escape the sleezeball -phew

It's difficult to pick just one there have been so many that were awful.

The blind date I was set up on by a girl I worked with. At the time I tended to fancy/date massive 6ft plus prop-forward types. The guy she set me up with was the height and build of a jockey. He had hands like an 8 year old.

A date who turned up wearing a Tshirt with holes in and a dirty fleece and then in the middle of a coffee shop proceeded to tell me about his previous internet dating experiences and how one of them he thought might have been a transexual because she had a noticeable adams apple and when he was shagging her (which he then went into considerable, unnecessary detail about) it didn't 'feel' right.

Another one who (mid-date) decided to tell me his fantasy about having a man wank over him. And how he'd once given a man a blowjob in the toilets of a club. But he was at pains to tell me he wasn't gay, he just found men's cocks attractive

And loads of others - the guy who was about 10st heavier than his profile pic who when I kissed him goodbye tried to slip me the tongue; the racist/sexist who said he only wanted me for a quick fuck (he didn't get that I hasten to add); another who was homophobic and told me a very long and quite unpleasant story about a girl he knew being raped by an internet date who followed her home.

It's far easier to list the good than the bad (there's been about 2 good, ever!)

Lulu excellent story! very much like my DSIS when she met her DH, he held her hair back while she threw up on his car bonnet, first meeting!

I worked in a pub, eleventy million years ago and a regular loner kept asking me to go out for a drink with him, this went on for months. I would reply with trilling laughter and no, I don't go out with customers, until in the end I thought, FFS, just go for a drink and get it over with. So I did. Eek, shudder! Big mistake!!

He spent the whole evening, in a 'rival' pub, saying that all these people were not happy, it was all fake, they were all miserable, they were so wretched

So get to the end of the 'date' (I hope) and he insists on going to a club! Stupidly I agree and off we went! He was even worse in there! They are all psychopaths, look at them, they aren't happy, it's all a show. Pathetically I just sat there, thinking, please let me just go home. This was about 38 years ago, I was naive.

So we get a taxi and go home, slight frantic fumbling in taxi, much avoiding his mouth and scrambling to get out of taxi, get in house, phew, thank God that is over..............

Oh, no! I am in work three days later, when he comes in and informs me that he has called at my family house, has met my Mum and has left me some records to listen to. ( See, told you I was old!). I used this as an excuse to say, actually I don't appreciate that, I'll return your records, and I don't think we have anything going on for us ='get lost! He looked very hurt but seemed to accept it.

No.........!!!!!!! He would come to the pub every night I was working and just stare at me, from the end of the bar and then one Sunday night he asked to speak to me after work. I warned my boss and asked him to come and rescue me after 10 minutes, then met said sad man in pub car park. Where he confessed his undying love me, told me he had given up his (long time) job as he needed to concentrate on me and he just knew we were meant for each other!!! I was horrified, he gave up his good job, WTF? Luckily the boss arrived and warned him off and even though he cried, I was quite shocked and determined to keep him away from me. I actually met my DH some weeks later but I would often see the 'stalker' around, especially in way out places where I wouldn't have expected to see him.

I did feel guilty though, why did he get so fixated on me, I was polite but never encouraging, but I think my first mistake was actually going out for a drink with him, he saw it as a green light to the future.

I hope he found someone else. Me, and my now DH, moved out of the area many years later and that was it. I stopped seeing this bloke around, I used to find it very unnerving as if I had done something wrong. But I'm sure I didn't.

About 5 years ago, I met this guy. He was about 10 years older than me, but seemed really nice.

All was going well on date, called it a night about 10pm as I was working the following dayand didn't want to get too pissed and we had drank a fair bit. We shared a taxi, he dropped me off and went home.

About half an hour later, he turned up on my doorstep with my favourite takeaway curry and two bottles of wine. I thought it was a sweet gesture so I let him in, even though I had just ate and didn't want any wine.

He was downing the wine pretty fast because I was tired and made it clear that I wanted him to leave soon.

Suddenly, he just got really upset and told me that he felt like he'd ruined everything with us. I reassured him that he'd done nothing wrong and then he told me that it was pointless anyway, as he has problems getting an erection unless he sees himself with the partner. He said he has mirrors all around his bedroom and can't get aroused in any other way. This, obviously freaked me out, but I stayed polite and asked him if he'd hurry up and leave as time was getting on. He said ok and asked if he could use the loo first. I said fine.

He came into my living room a few minutes later carrying my hall mirror and asked me if I would just lift my dress up and show my knickers in the mirror so he could keep it in his "wank bank" for later!

At this point I lost it and told him to gtfo. He tried to ring me a few days later, I didn't answer and he sent me a text calling me a slut!

Never, ever again! Fucking weirdo!

More please these are great :)

I met ex army man called Kenny. Sounded like a very upstanding and interesting guy. He had a chocolate lab,so I met up with him and the dog to go for a walk. He spent the entire walk explaining how valuable his dogs bollocks were, and he was like an aged Julian Clary. He couldn't understand why I didn't feel we were a good match.

I met a senior manager from a local factory. He told me all about the 70 people he manged, the multi million pound orders he was individually responsible for securing, the massive pressures he was under. My best friends husband just happens to work at the same place. My date was actually a junior apprentice...when I mentioned our mutual acquaintance to my date by text he never ever contacted me again.

Let's not forget the planning officer I met. He was a new age spiritual healing fan. No problem, not my thing but his beliefs are just as valid as mine. However I got some quite grim news about my health right after our slightly stilted but okay date and (unwisely) mentioned it. He told me that there was nothing wrong with me, other than a soiled soul which needed cleansing. After due consideration I decided to take great offence at this and that was the end of that..!

A few days later I met an architect. He seemed quite blunt and assertive while messaging, but witty and sharp. When I met him he (firstly was a wannabe architect, and had never actually got round to qualifying) complained about various Internet dates he'd had where the women had accepted dinner from him, but the grasping bitches hadn't had any intention of sleeping with him at all in return. I sat opposite him, agape. I should have wiped the floor with him, but I was almost waiting for a punchline. The best was yet to come however. As conversation stumbled along, it turned out that my manager was his wife whom he'd recently separated from. He suddenly lost all self assurance and became a terrified wreck. I never did sayanything to his wife, but every time I see her, I'm so happy for her that she's not with him and is now happy with a decent guy.

I met up a couple of times with the ex gardener of the King of Jordan. He was a bit eccentric, but harmless I thought. I met him for a coffee and we hit it off fairly well. We met up a second time, and it became clear on the second meeting that we had run out of common ground and we were far too different to continue dating. I tried to gently break this to him . Later that night I went out to my car about midnight to get something. A carrier bag was hanging off the wing mirror. I looked in it...chocolates and a card from him. I'd never told him where I lived, no idea how he found out. I bolted back in the house and locked the door. I was really nervous, and eventually went to bed feeling unsettled. As I started to doze off in bed a thought popped into my mind. What if, while I was at the car, he had sneaked into the house? I had to get back up and search the house, armed with a toy poodle and a heavy silver ornament of a prickly pear. There was no one to be found, but I kept waking through the night imagining ever more extreme hiding places he might be in. Checking on top of my tall fridge freezer at 3am was probably a low point...

I really could continue with more stories of mad dates. Perhaps I'm not fated to be an Internet dating success story?!

I'd add my own but I haven't been on a 'Date'

These are a good read though

I met up with an Internet date. good looking but young. He had been cagey about his age. he was nice enough but we didn't seem to have anything to say to each other unlike all of the other dates i was seeing we didn't really hit it off but he was fit so I though bugger it let's go home together! this was about ahour after meeting! still very little chat but we had good sex but I was perfectly happy waving him off the next day thinking id never see him again

Anyway, I married him! we haven't stopped chatting since. Turns out he wAs very nervous! actually had loads in common but it took us a while to get there

I'm glad to say I'm happily settled now, but I could probably write a book about the internet dating disasters I've had over the years:

1. 'Mature' 30-something student, who admitted he was a virgin then told me earnestly he was considering becoming a gigolo to fund his studies…he then asked me what my favourite song was, then grew delighted we had so much in common because that was the song he listened to when he went out to the woods with a knife to psyche himself up to commit suicide.

2. Appeared charming and attentive and first, but after I refused to sleep with him on the second date, he said with utter indignation: "But I bought you dinner!" I told him it felt way too rushed, to which he said: "How else is sex supposed to be?"

3. Was going ok until the third date, when he said (quote) "I like a variety of different cunts, you can be my Monday girl". I never saw him again, on Monday nor any other day of the week, yet for months afterwards I received texts about how much his cock wanted me. (boak)

4. Totally up his own arse lawyer who grilled me for several hours - when I said it felt more like a job interview than a date, he said: "of course - I need to make sure you'll be suitable wife" (!!) He then went on to say it was obvious I hadn't had any children because I still had a good figure, to which I said my mother had a fantastic figure - he then asked if he could have her number! By this point I really wanted a drink, but he said he would be disrespectful for me to drink in front of him as he'd made bet with a friend that he wouldnt drink alcohol for a year. When I asked him what he got if he won, he said a pint (?!) When he started expressing his opinion that disabled people were of no worth to society and any unborn child with a genetic defect should be aborted, I stood up and walked out.

5. Admittedly I was on the rebound, so probably shouldn't have let this Mr Nice Guy take me on a 4-day break to a 5* hotel in Windermere - it was only our second date. He was pretty quiet the first time I met him, which I put down to nerves, but he seemed really sweet and genuine, so I tried to push my doubts from my mind. Unfortunately, despite all the lovely wining and dining the trip soon became torturous - he was so painfully shy he barely spoke! Furthermore he had OCD, so we barely left the hotel, as he kept having to go back to check if our room was locked! On the final day of our break, I told him I didn't think we had enough in common to carry on seeing each other. He broke down in tears, told me he'd "lost faith in humanity" then blubbed for the entire car journey home which ended up taking 8 hours, thanks to a crash on the M6. Awkward wasn't the word...

6. Date who turned up an hour late (after already delaying date by two hours due to emergency drs appointment). When I asked whether he was ok, he explained drs appointment was because he'd drank alcohol two nights in a row, which he'd never done before and he was afraid for his health! Furthermore, for some reason I couldn't fathom, he was wearing orange foundation on one side of his face, but not the other! I went to the toilet, phoned my friend and begged her to ring me with a suitable excuse to get the hell out of there. Clearly he didn't buy the excuse "there's blood all over my front door!" because later that night I received a message from him telling me I was "incredibly rude"!

Luckily not that many bad ones- but one does stick in my mind-
First date in my local pub, he turns up looking gorgeous, and I immedialtley spil my drink all over his shirt- " this cost me 70 he says"- oops sorry - it was an accident and it will dry!! He then went on to talk about his ExW for most of the date, how slim, well dressed, desinger clothes, and how he is looking for someone like her- - IM NOT THAT!!
Because he was so good looking- ( stupid I know but I was a bit fed up of being single) I accepted a 2nd date to the pics,he choose the film and then 15 mins into it he dissapeared for ages- I eventually went looking where he was being sick outside! the film was the one about being trapped in 911- and he was claustrophobic- after being trapped in a mine??? eh??? bullshitter me thinks!- Anyway after wiping the sick from his mouth he then asked me to go him with him for s shag!!!- its only 9pm, we can have an early nite at mine!! eerr noo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry about typos- trying to type quickly before boss come in!

Resurrecting this thread as it is hilarious!

Not had any really terrible ones but loads of boring dates and a few piss takers who talk about themselves for hours and then expect you to pay for their meals. Needless to say, they never heard from me again.

I met a woman who worked for "rat rescue" and brought two with her to the date, in small cages in the huge handbag she was carrying. Then proceeded to get them out every so often as they needed to get used to people. Just as I was getting ready to tell her that I thought she was very nice but I didn't feel any spark, she declared that I had a lovely aura and she could feel that we would have a long and happy life together.

Another one, there was a woman sat at a different table staring at me. We moved twice, at my insistence, and each time this woman moved so she was in my eyeline. In the end I suggested moving to a different pub and said why, at which point I found out she was my date's sister who had come along as a chaperone. I don't think the sister spoke more than three words to me when we were introduced. When she still turned up at our third date I called it a day.

A friend set me up with her SILs brother.

We met in a nearby pub. He was without a shadow of a doubt the dullest man I've ever met. He droned on and on and on about himself and his likes and his dislikes for four hours. It was never ending. He especially liked to talk about his exploits with his friends, accompanied by frequent and uproarious laughter. At things that weren't funny. You know those people who laugh at EVERYTHING, and you have to try to force a smile, otherwise you risk looking completely humourless? He was one of them.

It was so excruciating I could have cried. I have never, ever been so pleased to hear "last orders".