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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My life is a mess

3 replies

266Canterbury · 20/04/2014 15:03

Sorry this may be in the wrong category but I'm new to this site and this seemed the most relevant category.

The subject heading says it all really. My life was pretty good up until I was 23, when I suddenly developed a mysterious condition. It happened soon after I'd met my now husband, so it put some strain on our relationship in the early days. I was told for years by doctors that my symptoms were psychological and they gave me antidepressants, which didn't help much.

When I was 27 we had our first child, then 5 years after we got married then had our second child. I'm now 36. A couple of years ago I started wondering if my symptoms were neurological, so I told my GP and after a year of various tests and seeing several neurologists I got diagnosed with a rare incurable condition called cervical dystonia. I have worked on and off over the years but find it a struggle because of the constant pain and anxiety I have. My husband is not very sympathetic and is always making digs at me about not working, the house being a mess etc. I love my children but their behaviour seems to be getting worse and worse. I feel like a bad mother and wife, but at the same time I resent my husband. I think if I was mentally and physically stronger we wouldn't be together. I know that I have to take some responsibility for my problems and not just blame everyone else but I feel like I want to escape from life sometimes. Please could I get some feedback on my situation? Thank you.

OP posts:
CookieLady · 20/04/2014 15:14

Right, first get that arse out of your life. How bloody dare he be dismissive of how your illness and instead he's focusing on the house being a mess! So what if it's a mess. The world won't end. I bet you any money you'll feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders once you don't have that arse around. You're not a bad mother or a bad wife.

As for the kids' behaviour worsening it could be normal developmental pushing of boundaries, surges of testosterone or they could be playing up as the know all is not well in the Canterbury household.

Sending you an unmumsnetty hug.

CookieLady · 20/04/2014 15:16

Will post more later as baby needs feeding.

sadwidow28 · 20/04/2014 22:34

I don't agree with cookie. Your mental health and physical disability is affecting the whole family.

Have you asked the GP about any additional benefits you are entitled to?

Perhaps a joint session with your GP, yourself and DH will help him to understand that you are genuinely ill with cervical dystonia.

What do you need to help you to cope better physically? I suggest that you work on those issues as a priority.

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