mother's rejection again

[biscuitfreak]

Please bear with me, I don't think I can explain everything. I probably should have namechanged. I should be asleep, but I can't and I keep saying and shaking, he I write on here it might distract me anyway.

Tonight I read a chapter my mother wrote in a book that's just been published. It's abound as a baby, as a child, and why she doesn't want to speak to me.

Its everything I already knew. I don't know why it's hurting so much, I don't know what to do with the pain

We've been NC for a year, and suddenly it's all come back again

It's really helped reading everyone's posts,thankyou. I cannot work out where she come from, I know what my granddad did genes manipulative, but it's not normal for him. Her very old and not well. I think he just looks back at his life and wants to know he's leaving everyone as a family. My other grandad is doing similar, last time I went over he kept crying and saying 'I just want to see everyone together'.

I think my mother is very controlling, and is in a marriage where she is controlled. I've just learned his verbal aggression has started to become physical. I wondered what they would do without me to be scapegoat, will they pick on someone new or will the whole set up implode on itself? The result is a toxic combination. She's putting more pressure onto me to let her see the kids.

I read toxic parents when I was pregnant with my first, and it was a massive wake-up! I think that was the beginning of the end for me. Have started reading it again this weekend.

Yes it does. It spends a short time highlighting dysfunctional aspects, more is spent talking about how to move on and how to have a relationship if you want to. It is really helpful. Just what I was looking for as I didn't want read about the past and coming to terms with it, although it does a bit, I wanted to learn how to go about my future. Good luck!