Please help me get my head round this!

[Confusedmuch1234]

Hi

I'm not sure if anyone can help. I'm a very insecure person, a previous relationship has messed with my head and I find it hard to trust people.

I know it's not right but I do check my DH phone every now and then! I looked at his internet history and on Thursday he was looking for a florist in a town about 45 mins from us. He used to work around there and I haven't received any flowers!

He didn't order on line from what I can see but got the contact details. What can I do to find out anymore information? I have no idea why he would search or buy flowers. From my point of view we are happily married and trying for a baby!

X

Just ask. It could be entirely innocent - a former colleague could be ill. Don't jump to conclusions just yet.

Why do you snoop "every now and again"?

Just realised this was from snooping on his phone, so difficult to ask. Do you have a reason not to trust him?

I look because before we got married he spoke to a few people over FB and text and was deleting messages! I really thought we were over that though.

We don't have lots of spare cash so surly would say if he was buying for someone that was ill!

Why would you want to live like this? Checking up on him and then having a hundred different questions going around your head, driving you mad.

I'd have to just confess to checking and ask out right, and it'd serve me right if he refused to tell me.

Maybe he used to pass a florist on his way to work and the name of it was niggling him? Maybe someone at work asked him to look it up while he was sitting with his phone out?
You're torturing yourself and it'll only get worse. There are trust issues here that need addressing and if you and he are TTC then I suggest you address them pretty quickly.

The problem here is mistrust. Once that infects a relationship, you're sunk. If there have been untrustworthy incidents in the past and you haven't (as a couple) properly addressed them then this is what happens. You end up feeling insecure enough to check his phone and you immediately assume the worst about anything you find.

Suggest you stop trying for a baby until you've had a heart to heart about how to improve the trust in the relationship

You're obviously not happily married, or you wouldn't be doing this.

OP are you ok? Did you speak to yor DH? Hope everything is ok...