ive had enough-my relationship is over but im scared. name changed,mostly a lurker.
Been with other half for 11 years. split up years ago after one d.v incident. after being seperated for nearly two yrs I gave in and went back to him. I gave in to his pressure as I was low, vulnerable and believed he would change.
we have kids now. I had a bad childhood and my relationship mirrors my parents relationship. emotional and financial abuse, threats and bullying.gas lighting and withering my confidence away.
I want to leave as I want to break the cycle and show my kids that they shouldnt tolerate this behaviour, that they deserve better.
last night we argued I told him I wanted him to leave. he is refusing and says he will make me leave without my kids. he said hes going to get custody and use the fact I had depression years ago to get custody. I am since recovered after cbt which has helped me massively and getting counselling for sexual abuse which happened when I was younger.
im the primary carer, I do 90% of housework. I wont be able to carry on my normal working hours(part time but long commute) and juggle pick ups/drop offs. it can be done though with a rejig.
we live in a council house, joint tenancy. im going to ring womans aid, cab on tuesday when hes at work. im scared. I need this time to be different, to get him out rather than being weak and staying in this relationship.
I need to make a plan to get out. the children need to live with me otherwise they wont be well cared for. he threatened me with ss and the police if I finish the relationship. I have nothing to hide, ss and police would see I look after my kids and that I am protecting them by making him leave.
sorry my post is all over the place. I have had barely any sleep. I wont be able to check thread til evening as ive got the kids to look after and I dont want him to catch on that ive posted.