Toxic people, nasty digs and mental health.

[superstarheartbreaker]

I'm not sure if this is better off in mental health but I am aware that I have some toxic friends. Trouble is that one of them is sort of family.
I don't want to do no contact as there are things I like about the person but aggrh...I just want my distance and she's right in my face.

In fact , now I come to think of it, most of my relationships have been toxic, including romantic ones. I don't want to be a hermit but I'm fed up with the nasty digs that people make. Am I over sensitive or can nasty digs wear one down?

I guess what I'm getting at is that these toxic relationships are holding me back and making me down.

At least you recognize how people are affecting you. I think it is not easy to find good and helpful friends. Don't stand for their nonsense.

I agree with the PP that you shouldn't stand for it. We all meet difficult people in all walks of life. Some we can avoid but others we're thrown together with, like it or not. Work colleagues, family, random people we rely on for something, etc. As it's not possible to go 'no contact' with everyone without retreating into a cave, you have to be assertive rather than let remarks bring you low. If you want distance and this person is 'in your face', for example, then tell them clearly to back off and leave you alone. And mean it.

If you're not used to be assertive it takes practise but see it as personal development and learn from your experiences.

I am thinking of moving to get away from my inner circle. They can be lovely but there are the digs and it is wearing. I feel trapped as I am single and dd is settled in school. On the other hand my sad is going out with my friends mum and my friend can be one of these unhealthy friends. Seems supportive but then makes a dig. She has been out with two ex boyfriends in the past which still annoys me. No trust.

What do you do when someone 'makes a dig?'

Tell the person that what they said didn't feel very nice, ask them to explain what they mean

Yes, good idea to ask them what they mean by it. Sometimes they don't actually mean anything bad by it. Even so, if you still don't like it and think of it as a slur (say, comments about your appearance or something you can't change about yourself) say you don't like it when people do that.