I can't stop thinking about ...

[tessie31082]

My ex from 13 years ago! I never really got over him but since having my DS 13 months ago it's all I can think about! What should I do? I know I can't have him as he's moved on! I don't think I can stay with my DP for the next 17 years either.
Any advice?

Why can't you stay with your DP?
And why 17 years?

Could your fantasies about the ex be just a reflection of your current unhappiness?

I can relate to this! My ex from 12 years ago cheated on me and I ended the relationship because I couldn't trust him or get over what he'd done despite him being really remorseful. I got with the bloke I went on to have kids with very soon after... But never really got over the ex!

Until... I finally started talking to him again and became friends on Facebook with him. Now he's a good friend but that's it. I think I needed some kind of closure that I never got all those years ago. I only resumed contact after I split with my husband last year - he hated my ex so I never felt I could be friends with him.

Could this closure thing be the same for you? Or it could just be that you're only remembering the good things about your ex now you're having problems with your partner?

Lweji - I don't want to be with him anymore. I can't stand any physical touching and I just don't love him but I don't want to ruin our sons family, hence waiting until he's 18 (in 17 years time)!
Vivacia - I was feeling a bit like this before DS was born but not like it is now, I just don't know, I fantasise about just being by myself with DS!

It is actually better for all if you separate now.
Your son has a better chance to adapt now than later. And you don't want to bring him up in a disfunctional family.

Nor do you want to waste your life or your partner's.

Vivacia has it.

I would say try to separate the two things in your head. Leaving the ex out of it would you still like to leave your dp? As others have said it will be easier now than any later time and 17 years is a fuck off a lot of your life to live with someone you don't want to be with.

I think you should separate now. Your ex is another issue.

Given what you have said the two of you are in for a miserable 17 years (or however long it takes), and your dc probably wouldn't thank you for it anyway. Nowt wrong in going it alone I'd say.

Sassy -I broke up with ex and got with DP 2days later - not sure why - he was kind of a 'bad boy' who seemed exciting maybe?!
Lweji - your right!
Thefarce - I've tried telling him but he just doesn't get it!
Rudy and fairy - my mum waited until my brother (who is 6 years younger than me) was 18 and finished college before she left my dad (she put our 'happy family' first) - we had a very happy childhood and it didn't adversely affect us!
If I ask him for some space or a semi-separation I know he won't leave though so I don't know what to do!