what financial support will he have to give?

[avocadogreen]

So 2 weeks ago my husband left. He is a higher rate tax payer earning 50k, I am a SAHM. Two children aged 7 and nearly 4. No savings and we rent privately.

Still reeling from the shock of it all and trying to work out what the hell is going to happen.

Obviously I will get a job- that was always the plan once the youngest starts school in sept anyway. But what am I entitled to from him? Does he have to pay maintenance for me or just for the kids? Will I have to claim JSA in order to get housing benefit etc?

I can't believe I am typing all this. I can't afford a solicitor. My only hope is to speak to CAB I guess but don't want to take the kids with me and they are on school holidays at the moment.

H isn't being arsey about money yet, we still have the joint account etc, but from what he is saying he has clearly started thinking about it, he says he found out he will have to pay us 800 per month child support- I have no idea where this figure came from.

Anyone who has been through this who can help?

I'm in the process of going through this so am by no means an expert. However, you can work out the payments he has to make for the children here:

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

You can work out what benefits you are entitled to here:

www.entitledto.co.uk/

My understanding is that if you gave up your career to look after the children and if the divorce substantially impacts on your standard of living then a solicitor could argue that you were entitled to spousal maintenance which is when your exdh has to make a monthly payment to support you until you are in a position to support yourself (it's time limited so he wouldn't support you indefinitely). However even with a solicitor spousal maintenance isn't that likely so if you can't afford a solicitor then your exdh would need to offer to pay you spousal maintenance.

I know its only been two weeks and this is all very difficult but please do go along to the CAB. You can't trust your exdh to either tell you the truth or to have your best interests at heart and you need to ensure you get the best deal possible for your dcs.

You now have to pay to use the child maintenance service, so best to try and sort out a private arrangement if you can. Depending on where you are in the UK, under welfare reform, the max you can claim in benefits in addition to maintenance, is £500 a week if you are unemployed.

Thank you. He must have used that child maintenance calculator as it comes out at just under 200 a week. Is the maintenance taken into account when assessing benefits? I guess so.

The benefits calculator was useful thank you. It looks like we will have to move house as this one is 3 bed and we will only get housing benefit for a 2 bed. My brain is fried. Thanks for the links.

I think the maintenance amount is considered separately to any benefits you need.

As I understand it the paying for child maintenance comes in later this year.

You may wish to establish an amount using the service right now, and switch if possible to a personal arrangement, when it begins to cost later on.

A personal arrangement doesn't always work out with a non-resident parent I suspect.

They don't include child maintenance when assessing benefit entitlement; that changed in 2010. It's on top. So you may be able to afford a 3 bed, if you use some of the cm to pay for it as well.

If he has a pension, you're entirely likely to be entitled to half. That can be a chunky asset, and it's often overlooked.

So sorry you're in this situation.

You can get a free consultation to see how you could proceed with regards to finance.
Does he have other bank accounts?

And depending on how long you've been a sahm, you could claim spousal maintenance, at least until you start working. Or a larger proportion of the family assets.

Do talk to a solicitor. Some offer a free initial consultation and will take their fee out of the final financial settlement rather than demand it up front. Find out what a fair settlement would be from the solicitor and then see if you can achieve that between you privately as it'll be cheaper. Don't rush to do anything regarding accommodation as you may well find, with maintenance payments, tax credits, a salary (if you're getting a job) and other assistance, that you can still afford the rent. Do separate your finances however. Joint accounts are not a good idea in these circumstances.

Sorry you've had such a nasty shock. Do you have friends and family that you can talk to for support?

Don't forget 200 per week is not 800 per month. It is 800 every 4 weeks.

You definitely need to seek advice from a solicitor.

What assets are there? Does he (or you) have a pension? I see there is no house. DO you have savings?

The children will need to be housed and that will be the main priority on divorce.

You can apply for ancilliary relief if need be - and you may be entitled to some spousal maintenance, but as others have said its likely to be short term and time bound until you are able to get on your feet and find a job.

With regards Child maintenance on £50k, £200 seems a little high to me- assuming he will have the children stay over 1 or 2 nights a week? that would be nearer to £130 a week I think. What access and contact arrangements will be made?

You will also need to think about childcare costs into any equation when you return to work- no doubt he will expect you to pay for that out of child maintenance - this can be costly so you may want to negotiate and try to arrange something on that.

I doubt he will have a house big enough as well to take them overnight

if he has caluclated 800 a month he seems happy with it,

Accept it - tell him you will not contest access of contact if he supports his children,

but also tell him you will be claiming on his pension also...

Thanks all. At the moment he is staying in a friend's spare room so he won't be having kids overnight. I have no doubt that his sudden eagerness to get the finances sorted means that he is already planning to get a place with the OW. So I guess I should accept the 800 offer and start figuring out benefits etc. I looked at CAB online and that benefit calculator, with a child under 5 I can get income support, right?

He does have a pension. I didn't think about that. I discovered Relate offer a free 30 minute consultation wirh a solicitor so I might try that.

Yes, at the moment you can get income support until your child is five, however, there a changes coming and various things you will be required to do in relation to job searching. You will also get child tax credits.

Please don't accept anything until you've had chance to run the whole thing past a solicitor. Also, anything you do agree, make sure it is formalised rather than verbal.

I am considering suggesting to him that he needs to continue to support me and the children until I get a job and get back on my feet- at that point we can talk about maintenance. I have been looking into it and as my youngest is over 3 I might be forced into one of these 'back to work' schemes where I have to work for free. I want to apply for jobs that suit my skills/experience and fit in with the kids, I don't want to be forced into something. I was a TA until we relocated for his job 6 months ago and there are plenty of TA jobs around at the moment, I have applied for a few already.

With regards to maintainence for the children, check out the child maintainence options website, there is a formula depending on the number of children you have, a percentage of his gross salary.

There is lots of financial help available to you, regardless of whether he pays you any maintainence. You are entitled to claim child benefit, child tax credits and income support, you can start the processes online. If you are paying rent and getting no help from him, make a claim to your local council for housing benefit and also for council tax relief, if you get income support you will only have to pay 20% of 75% of the council tax. Claims should be back dateable to when he left, if you tell them the reason you didn't claim immediately is that you hoped he would come back. You should also be able to pay reduced water rates. If you do get income support, this should continue until your youngest child is 5, but you will have to attend work focused interviews at the local job centre plus, so they can support you with anything you think my help you get a job when the time is right or when your youngest starts school. When you do get a job, if it is low paid and provided you work 16 hours or more a week you will be entitled to working tax credits which should mean you are better off working.

If he pays you maintainence for yourself this will effect your claim for income support, if he doesn't volunteer this you can make an applicaion for maintainence pedning suit once you start divorce proceedings. Most reputable solicitors will give you an initial appointment for free so you can discuss the next steps.

I was in a similar position a year ago and I got invaluable help with all of this from the local citizens advice bureau.

Good luck with everything, try to concentrate on looking after yourself physially and emotionally so you can continue to be a great mum even if you are on your own.

Ok so currently he is with friends but that is not sustainable longer term. He will need a place where he can have the children at his overnight - and courts will want to ensure this too. Right now that might not seem like priority but will need considering.

Go and see a solicitor but you are right to think about how you can support yourself financially. Hopefully things can continue to remain amicable refinances and access.