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Original poster

A patient gave me his number.

25 replies

Latara · 14/04/2014 12:46

One of the nurses at work gave me a patient's phone number yesterday, he'd said he liked me and wanted me to have his mobile number.
I'd only spoken to him once to give him a cup of tea, then he went home.

Firstly as I'm actually a registered nurse (working as an HCA temporarily) I'm sure I'm not allowed to enter into any relationships with patients outside of work (although some people do it seems).

Secondly he's only 23. I'm 37! The nurse didn't tell him how old I am.
The other nurses & HCAs are telling me I should text him anyway but I think it's inappropriate because of my age and my job.

Do I forget all about it or should I text just to say 'thanks but can't happen'. I think texting him at all is risky - am I right?

OP posts:
Matildathecat · 14/04/2014 12:48

Yes.

squeakytoy · 14/04/2014 12:49

If he had gone home now then he is not a patient any more so if you wanted to contact him then surely you could..

DreamToSleep · 14/04/2014 12:50

Don't contact him at all! It is inappropriate due to your job, which you already know.

I would seek advice about him giving his number, just to make someone higher aware and that you do not want to make contact.

DistanceCall · 14/04/2014 12:50

I believe that healthcare staff aren't allowed to have relationships with patients as long as they are their patients, but once they are discharged, there are no obstacles. (And besides, strictly speaking, he hasn't been your patient).

What would you like to do?

WishUponAStar88 · 14/04/2014 12:50

Yes it would be inappropriate to persue anything but professional contact with this (or any) patient as stated in the nmc code of conduct. Age wouldn't matter to me but it would definitely be unprofessional.

MorrisZapp · 14/04/2014 12:50

If you're not interested then of course don't text him! Makes no odds how you met, when a random gives you a phone number via a third party you owe them nothing.

Also your planned reply makes it sound as if you're into him but constrained by rules, thus inviting persuasion.

Original poster
Latara · 14/04/2014 12:51

I think if he was a similar age it would be more acceptable (although not strictly allowed) but it's his age that is a major 'no' for me.

OP posts:
DistanceCall · 14/04/2014 12:53

Then don't. Simples.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 14/04/2014 12:54

Don't text him at all. Do you want him to have your number? Just ignore it.

Yes it is unprofessional. But I do know a couple of people who have gone on to marry ex patients!

Original poster
Latara · 14/04/2014 12:55

I definitely won't be texting him then, I was worried about seeming rude but I think I was just confused by the other nurses encouraging me to contact him.

I thought he was immature for 23 anyway! The age does bother me and the fact he is discharged is irrelevant, he was still a patient. If I hadn't had any contact with him at all (not spoken to him) then that would be different.

OP posts:
onetiredmummy · 14/04/2014 12:57

Just don't do anything. He's not expecting anything its just speculative. Its just casting your hook into the water kind of thing.

If you reply with a rejection he will take it personally & be hurt, he will then also have your mobile number.

50shadesofknackered · 14/04/2014 13:07

Its completely inappropriate and unprofessional! It's happened to me a couple of times, one patient even asked another patient to give me his number and tell me he liked me as I was off on the day he was discharged! Hmm You don't owe him anything and he really shouldn't have put u in this position, just ignore!

Guiltypleasures001 · 14/04/2014 13:13

Actually open I'm surprised your colleague took his number and gave it to you.

LIZS · 14/04/2014 13:14

ignore , are you sure it is genuine ?

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 14/04/2014 13:41

Lose the number. Just because someone hands you a phone number, it does not create a contractual obligation to use it. That is not rude. Have some boundaries. The ethical protocols are there in rule, but they can guide you for making personal boundaries. That and your gut feeling are enough justification to ignore it.

Also, you do not need to justify an answer of "no" to him or the coworker or anyone.

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 14/04/2014 13:49

Sorry, but IMHO the other nurses egging you on are looking for some entertainment at your expense. Not nice. Sad Ignore them.

rackim · 14/04/2014 20:20

I am also a medical professional and this is an absolute No-no. It could seriously result in you facing disciplinary proceedings or being struck off by the RCN and losing your registration.
Please do not go anywhere near him. If he contacts you again, the response is something like "I'm terribly flattered by your attention, but I'm afraid that because of my job seeing you outside of work is impossible."

thatdarncat · 14/04/2014 21:39

It's against the NMC code of conduct. You could be struck off for failing to keep appropriate boundaries.

morchoxplz · 14/04/2014 21:47

I thought it was against the NMC code to be employed as an HCA if you are a registered nurse.......

mrssmith79 · 14/04/2014 21:51

If you still have a valid PIN then you'll be playing a very dangerous game should you choose to pursue this. Regardless of whether you're currently in a stepped down role you're still bound by The Code, not to mention local Trust policy.

Nice ego boost though Wink

thatdarncat · 14/04/2014 21:56

Good point morchoxplz

mrssmith79 · 14/04/2014 22:09

Not against the Code, no. A band 5 or above can work as a HCA but must stick rigidly to the role specified ie no drug administration etc.

morchoxplz · 16/04/2014 16:38

In some roles HCAs perform drug administration.....grey area if you ask me.

VivaLeBeaver · 16/04/2014 16:43

Its common in my trust for NQ staff to work as a HCA while waiting for their PIN to come through.

HolidayCriminal · 16/04/2014 16:51

It's not worth the grief. Bask in the compliment & bin the number.

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