Don't know what to do. DH and I have always bickered quite a bit and I guess the stress of 3 children has amounted to him telling me that "he loves me but is not in love with me and is thinking about leaving (although I would be the one leaving as we are expats (4 hrs flight from London where I would move too to be closer to family etc).
He says that it would be better for me and everyone as he finds it hard to control his temper. Want to try and keep this thread to facts rather than assumptions. He is a great father and adores the kids. he says he can't imagine us retiring together and that if he is honest he is only with me for the kids. Minutes later he is hugging me and kissing my cheek etc. I asked him today why he still kisses me he says that he still cares about me, that's why.
He recently agreed to counselling and we have done about 7 hrs but he is not the most open person so finding discussing us in front of someone hard but we twice now have left barely saying goodbye (we travel separately as he then goes onto work). He says that he can't force himself to love me but as he made his wedding vows "for better or worse" he would like to get a flat in London so he can be there 'as much as possible' for us and that he would look after me till death us do part etc
He has said some quite hurtful things to me in the heat of the moment and I just wonder how how possible it is for someone to change. I have been massively focusing on what the therapist has requested of us and tried to change from knee jerk retain to conscious behaviour and am managing to accomplish his "homework tasks" etc. He has barely done anything and thinks it is just weird that I listen to the guy after 10 yrs of him asking the same thing and me not listening. I have literally taken it as a kick in the butt in order to save us but he is taking so long to process anything. I think I'll leave it at that as don't want to make this too long. any opinion much appreciated - thanks