don't actually know how much more I can take

[sprite25]

I'll probably end up Just ranting but to be honest I don't quite care at the moment. Me and husband been having problems, he's basically useless and pathetic. I pretty much have to do everything including shoulder most of the stress and responsibility of things. DD seems to be teething and going through 4 months old sleep regression. I can't cope with it all anymore. I have a history of depression and found my mind telling me to self harm which I haven't done in years. It scared me and now I'm worried I have depression again. I don't know what im hoping to gain from this but just needed to vent to people who don't know me in RL

Sounds like you need a trip to the GP first thing tomorrow. Sorry I can't offer anything more practical - sleep deprivation on top of depression is brutal.

I think I might need to go too, I don't want anti-depressants and me and H are already looking into couples counseling so don't know what else GP can do but no way I can go on like this. Thanks for replying

Antidepressants might be something to help you stabilise while you work things through.

Depression is not failing, it's an illness, a chemical imbalance brought on by all kinds of things, hormone rushes included.

Please don't dismiss any form of reasonable treatment.

If you had a headache, you'd take a tablet, if you had an infection you'd take antibiotics... this is no different.

Antidepressants can help you gain clarity and get the most out of counselling. Is dd your first baby? Is your DH working at being a bit less, erm, pathetic?

The four month mark is really, really tough. I found that it was an awful mix of sleep regression, sleep deprivation, a vv early crawler, an the edge of PND.

In my case I did manage to shake it off. With a lot if tears and worry along the way. It wasn't until two years later, after having my second dc, that I realised that I really should have sought professional help. I knew I needed to but still I struggled on. Then came the breakdown followed by months of counselling. I still wonder if life would have been so much easier if I had gone to my GP when my first child was 4 m

Oops posted too soon.

When 4 months.

Do not make the mistake I made. Pick up the phone tomorrow morning, make the appointment.

How are things today OP? Have you contacted the GP yet?

I hope you feel able to come back and post OP. Were you suffering from ante-natal depression? Sometimes it's a crappy marriage pulling you down. But sometimes the relationship with a husband is strained because of the depression.

Don't be afraid to admit to it. This isn't something to be ashamed of. Talking about feelings even on MN if not to a real person is better than bottling everything up.

Please go to your GP and access some counselling for yourself. There's no shame in it and it marks the first step in getting past this. I sympathise with the sleep deprivation and lack of support.

You need to work out how much of this (if any) is straightforward depression, how much (if any) is PND, and how much (if any) is due to your DH being unsupportive. Establishing the cause of your depression (brain chemistry or circumstances) is going to vital in beating it.

Good luck.

Thanks for still posting I wasn't able to get an appointment with GP but was wondering if GP's are able to refer people for couples counseling? I understand that if I am depressed its not all because of the problems in the relationship but I think a large part of it is. The lack of support from H, the lack of closeness and intimacy between us. There's anger, resentment and even jealousy in there too. I think once I can separate me feeling down because of relationship and what else is making me down I can deal with it all better

I had a similar thing which was PND when little one was 12 months old, the GP desribed as being on a constant high alert, high adrenalin and feeling like life was a giant IN tray and nothing in the OUT tray which was spot on. He put me on te lowest dosage of anti depressants and it was amazing within days i felt like me again so please dont delay anymore and go and get the help you need, there is no shame in it and it will probably be cathartic for you xx big hugs