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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm a bitch, aren't I?

6 replies

talulahbelle · 13/04/2014 14:02

How do I begin... My DSis and I fought like cats and dogs growing up - she was always the pretty/cool/rebel and I the hardworking sensible plain one. Nothing huge ever happened, just we are very different people, and when I left for uni at 18 we have only ever intermittently kept in touch. Always got on fine at family gatherings, emailed every so often, Facebook friends, but we are not that close. We are now older, she has an amazing career, lives abroad and is single with a great lifestyle. I'm married in our home town with a DH, and very happy with my job. She's outgoing and gregarious, I'm an introvert and a lot quieter.

However, I'm now pregnant, and she is suffocatingly interested in me. Wants weekly bump pics, daily updates, Skype, etc etc. While it's nice that she's interested, it's just too much. I've sent her out the scan pics, as I have to all my family who expressed an interest, but she wants every single detail of my symptoms, how I'm feeling, what names me and DH are thinking about...

I just want her to back off! I'm happy with some baby-talk, but it's never ending. Even my closest friends don't get that much info. And to be fair, it's a little dull as well. I don't feel close to her, although she is perfectly nice we are too different, and if she wasn't my sister I doubt we'd be friends.

So, I'm a bitch right? She's trying to express an interest, and is excited about the new arrival. I just want her to leave me alone, or at least message me about something other than baby chat. And I don't want to have to send her weekly bump pics. It just feels fake.

OP posts:
Chottie · 13/04/2014 14:04

Perhaps, she is trying to put the past behind and be the sister and auntie she can be?

kalidanger · 13/04/2014 15:14

Maybe she'd rather be married and pregnant in her home town too? She might seem glam and abroad and deliriously single but still want a baby very much. Or maybe she isn't terribly interested but knows she should be, for forms sake, and is getting it a bit wrong.

It might be easiest to say you'll do a monthly update for relatives by email? Might be fun, if you can be bothered :o

RedRoom · 13/04/2014 15:16

Tell her a white lie: that you are constantly asked about the baby by people you work with/ friends etc, and that you don't want all of your conversations to be about the baby when it's just quietly getting on with growing and there isn't much to tell. I can't see a big issue here: if you don't want to provide endless detail, tell her so.

justsaying1234 · 13/04/2014 16:55

Any successful relationship is built on open and candid dialogue. Tell her how you feel.

Lweji · 13/04/2014 17:00

Is she really interested, though?
Or she has sensed that the spotlight is on you and is making sure she shares it?

I think you should reply sparingly and tell her there are no news and that you'll share them when there are some.

talulahbelle · 13/04/2014 18:38

Probably a combination of all of these things... I think it's just that she's never made any particular effort with me in the past (missing my hen do, which had been booked around her dates so she could be there to go to a festival, forgetting bday/xmas presents etc) Nothing awful, just a lack of care, so now it all feels fake. DH calls her self centred.

I will continue to send her the updates I give my mum, that will have to do!

OP posts:
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