Never been single

[heyho1985]

I have been in a relationship since I was 19 which is pretty much coming to an end. I am 28 now and very afraid that I have never been single and that I don't know who I am really if that makes sense?

I know a lot of people say your 20's are the time for figuring yourself out but I haven't really managed to do that.

I can't help comparing myself to others and always thinking about what I should be doing. I don't even know what I want out of life really and so far I haven't managed to figure it out.

Don't know what I'm looking for really but it helps to write it down and get it off of my chest!

I was the same between the ages of 17-29. After I ended things with my third fiancé I swore I was going to just "date" men and have nothing serious. On my first night of "freedom" I met my now (of 14years) husband

It's a good idea and I wish you luck.

I got married and l eft home to live with H when I was 20, We split up when I was 53 and my ds left home when I was 54, so that was the first time I'd ever been on my own. Life this last year has been really hard and I am only spending the time sorting myself out and finding out who I am and what I want with my life I don't work and haven't a clue what I want to do. Women my age are wll working so only older people are around in the day and I constantly compare myself badly to others. Don't think about your age concentrate on building your life, trust me you are young enough to sort yourself out beautifully and without having the 'ties' of anyone else to hinder your thinking. If you struggle maybe think of getting some counselling, I have and its brilliant Its helped me realise that I had struggled with some osrt of bad treatment or another all my life and why shouldn't I have a year setting up home/gardening/ looking after my puppy? If you can make yourself a project it will fall into place, and I reckon you have 10 years before you should be feeling as you do

Thank you both for your replies. It's very scary when you realise you don't know yourself or what you really want.

Sometimes over the last few years I've felt as though I'm just existing rather than living and it is very unnerving.

I will get there I'm sure as you both have, thankyou again.

Morning Heyho, I know just what you mean about existing!! Sometimes I think I am play acting the person that everyone else thinks I should be and am waiting for my life to start I am determined to try and find enjoyment in any small thing I can( even if its just appreciate the collour I painted my bedroom when I open my eyes in the morning) and not too look to far ahead. Someone said to me once that if you sort out the life you want and you are with someone at the end then that will be good but if not that will be good as well because you will have the life you want!!!!

Hi op. I'm in exactly the same boat as u except I have a dd with my now ex DF. It's very daunting but this site has been a great help. I have came across a website called meetup.com. It's for ppl to meet new friends and do activities they maybe wouldn't otherwise have anyone else to go with.

We are both only 28, and have plenty years in front of us to do what we want. Or so I keep telling myself.....

Your not alone and it may even be the best thing to happen to you. You can figure out who u r and what u want/need therefore able to pick a partner that compliments the person are as opposed to who u think u should be. Again I keep telling myself this too.....