My youngest dc was just sitting at our breakfast bar fiddling with one of his toys when he threw something on the floor. I picked it up and it was a tablet which could only have come from DH's wallet which was left on the side. I have looked up the tablet online and it's Viagra. To start with I was furious that he had left something like that just lying around, even accidentally but now my brain is starting to tick over that he might be / was planning to use it with someone else.
We used Viagra once or twice in the early days of our relationship but it hasn't been a very regular thing. We are not having Viagra-type sex at the moment. Our sex life was always fantastic but has dwindled recently as we are both exhausted from work, dc etc. We still have sex and when we do it's still good, just not at the intensity it was before. Perhaps he was planning to use it with me and feels a bit embarrassed to say out of the blue, I don't know. But I've read too many of these threads and my brain is in overdrive.
We have been together almost six years, married last year with two dc. He doesn't need Viagra to my knowledge, he is almost 30 and very fit. He says his brother gave it to him to give to a colleague as they were recently joking about it and this older guy mentioned that he wanted to try it (presumably) with his wife. He then put it in his wallet and forgot about it. Very apologetic about leaving it in dc's way.
He works constantly. I mean seven days a week although lately he has been much better about not working late in the week. I often don't really know where he is or when he will be home but this is generally just because I haven't asked, he will always tell me when I do. He is on a job at weekends at the moment where he does not have a signal and I can't easily reach him. I know this is true because friends of ours live nearby and are similarly affected but now I'm wondering if situations like this this afford him the opportunity to cheat.
He has a bit of history but way back when we were first getting together and I wasn't 100% committed either before alarm bells ring (I suppose we weren't officially a couple yet) and then a few online messages shortly afterwards. This took quite a bit of getting over on my part because I was quite young and a bit of a drama queen some of the women he was messaging were in his social circle so I had a lot of interactions with them and felt humiliated when it all came out. He lied and lied about it but was contrite in the end and has worked really hard to make me trust him and I do. I thought.
Since then I have caught him out watching porn a few times (which I wouldn't have minded really if he hadn't previously told me it didn't interest him and he never watched it - why lie?!) but nothing else. He allows me full access to his phone, social accounts, everything (as do I him). I trust him about as fully as is possible to trust another person and he has been my rock through two babies, post natal anxiety, family problems, everything. He supports us all financially (I work but earn a lot less than him and pay a lot of childcare), he is supportive, kind, fun, good with the dc, everything I need. We still get on, we laugh, we love each other. I still take care of myself, I still get male attention, we are only in our twenties.
His reaction was firstly to laugh and tell me the story about his brother and then to tell me I was getting irate for nothing (I was very calm on the phone, not at all irate) and then to tell me he didn't want to talk about it as the whole thing was ridiculous. I'm possibly being ridiculous but his reaction seemed off and going on past history I don't think he would be honest about it if even if I had caught him out. Is any of his ringing alarm bells? Would anyone else be concerned?