wives with young kids who've left

[Winstonrocked]

I'd like to hear about your experiences. I've 3 young ones under 5. Desperately want to leave. Married and financially dependant.
Have you managed it?

I left with my three children when they were 6, 4 and 2. I worked and moved out to a rented house. I get tax credits to top up my income. I find parenting easier now that its on my own terms and my rules. And i also get a break when the children spend time with their dad, my first break since becoming a parent.

Why do you want to leave?

Can I direct you to my other thread on relationships Sophie? " is he a narcissist?'
My kids are 4,2 and nearly 6 months (2 years between them all)

I just read your other thread. Definitely the best thing you can do. Of course it is heartbreaking to realise your marriage is over but the happiness i feel since being free is priceless. I left last july and now these few months on i feel like me for the first time in 12 years. You will manage and everything will work out, because you will find strengths you didn't know you had. Being independent is an amazing empowering feeling for me having been crushed for so long. I wish you luck in leaving and finding your happiness for you and your children. :)

Ty Sophie, I was a bit hasty writing the other thread but you can get a picture. Did you leave for similar reasons?
As I said on other one,, last night was just horrid when he came. He called dd1 stupid in such a horrible way and said she 'p*ssed him off all in front of us all. She was so upset. She is a very sensitive girl even at only 4. He just gets more mean.

Yes it was quite similar. My ex was abusive in lots of ways but name calling and general nastiness was a daily thing. When i was with him and even now, i don't understand why he felt the need to knock their confidence and self esteem when they are so little. Particularly with my middle one, i could see her shrink into herself when he was around, which was devastating to see. Although they still have plenty of regular contact, i feel they don't have to put up with his moods and the general tensions of life with him on a 24/7 basis, so they have a safe place with me. The longer I'm out the clearer it becomes x

I left about seven weeks ago with a 3 year old and 17 month old twins. It took a couple of weeks for finances to sort themselves out but honestly it was the best move I ever made. I love being on my own with my babies in a happy, calm, stress free home. No regrets.

Curt, that's great. Really happy for you. I hope I can be in your shoes soon. Sophie, you too.
The only thing I'm worried about is tat all my family and friends mostly live about 2.5 hours away. We moved to London for his work and frankly I don't have anything else to stay here for. But how far is acceptable if you are willing to drive the kids to see him etc?
Just needed a vague idea so I can have SOmesort of plan.