No intimacy

[bordellosboheme]

No intimacy for 2 years. Dp sleeps in another room. I have told him I would like us to sleep together, but he doesn't listen. I don't want to split up the family but I can't live like this, what should I do?

Thanks davrostheholy; our kids are getting on towards 6 and 3, so still pretty young really. And yes, I definitely understand I have to be on the back burner.. the kids have benefited from her undivided attention, and she's the one been getting up with them early, leaving me a bit more fresh for work.

We're concious of the problem, and have discussed it a few times.. she finds it awkward talking about it, so it's not often. We've hit a point now where the kids are sleeping through the night, so we're back into sleeping in the same bed together (in spite of the snoring ;)... that's a first step.. next is to gently get cuddles in without expecting anything else. Fingers crossed that'll help things get back on track, but I'm not expecting a quick fix.. it's going to take time.

I have just deleted my reply because I realised I am still so bitter about my STBXH's actions over the last 3 years together.

I know how painful repeated rejection is. Best wishes.

I know the feeling well, 4 yrs since we last had sex, when our son was conceived and it was 2 years prior to that so a couple of times in 6 years... Again, his choice not mine, says he is tired, stressed with work. I am 36 so do t think i want to spend the rest of my life with zero sex, that coupled with other issues in the relationship are making me consider leaving him now :(

crowded what about the days when you are not at work Seems a bit unfair if you are getting a lie in on those days and she isn't.

Darkesteyes - when I'm not at work, I get up with the kids & give her a lie in.. like this morning she was in bed 'till nearly 9 :)

Fair enough. does she get to go out on her own without the kids occasionally even to just get her hair done/shopping (I don't mean groceries) or coffee with a friend Something to remind her she isn't just Mummy.

Crowdedearth

Everyones different, and my opinions not especially valid. But I would say at 6 and 3 they are old enough that you should be back on track as a couple (or at least well on the way). Sounds like you have a problem.
As darkesteyes said, might be worthwhile thinking about ways to enable her to have more space and more time away from being a mummy. What about a part time job, or seeing some friends regularly ? Could she do that if you helped and encouraged her ?
You need to get her on board and wanting to change, but be careful not to pressurise - would be counter productive.