A suitable punishment?

[gremlindolphin]

Christmas before last very generous PIL gave my dcs aged 10 and 8 a very expensive apple laptop (they didn't tell us they were doing this!). I personally think they are were too young for such an expensive and fragile thing but anyway.

As a result we have had some rules about using it, not near food, drink, always sitting down with etc etc. It is now coming into its own as eldest dc is at secondary school and uses it for homework etc.

Anyway, the inevitable has happened, a glass of squash was accidentally spilt on it and it is completely wrecked. This happened when my dh was out of the country and I have today taken it to Apple for a quote.

My dh is now home and has gone beyond loopy that I didn't tell him when he was away and is now furious with me that I have not punished our already distraught dc who has no laptop as a result of an accident.

AIBU to feel that it was an accident and the result is its own punishment rather than having to think of a suitable additional punishment? She is a very well behaved quiet dd anyway.

Any thoughts appreciated?

I agree with you. It was an accident, she's already lost the laptop.

I believe in natural consequences rather than punishment. The natural consequences of now not having a laptop will teach her more than some made up retribution.

YANBU.

MacBooks are far more robust than any other laptops I've had. I'm on my second and it has survived plenty. It has had liquid spilled on it, not worked and eventually been fine once it's totally dried out.

I agree they'll have been upset and got a fright and that's enough for them, hopefully, to be more careful in future.

I also agree - accidents happen and now she doesn't have a lap top.

Might be covered under your house insurance - mine was with an excess of 100 Euro.

It was an accident and no punishment is needed.

However, your bloke will be conditioned by his parents, so I would expect that kind of reaction.

A calm alone chat with him is probably needed.

YANBU

(I spilt drink on my laptop too.)

I've spilt drink on my laptop and it's definitely punishment enough. My dd & ds have both done it and have been without a laptop for a considerable amount of time until it's been fixed and that nearly killed them. Claim on your household insurance if you can and you need to make sure they don't have drinks near it again.

It was an accident, no additional punishment needed. DC will already feel bad enough. I've clipped the edge of my laptop with my cup and spilt tea or coffee on the keyboard accidentally, I even closed down the lid on a pen on a brand new one and was mortified when I heard the screen crack.

Check your home insurance policy to see if your covered for accidental damage. Your DH is being unreasonable but I can understand he's annoyed about it.

I'm sure she has learnt from her mistake and was probably very upset, I can understand why your dh is angry but I don't think punishing her will make things any better.

It might be fine once dried out and if not it ought to be fixable. It might even still be under guarantee: i've just sent back a Samsung tablet under guarantee that was older than that. I've also known iPods to work after a cycle in the washing machine, given a week to dry out. Was it weak diluting juice with water, or highly sticky sugary ginger of some sort?

I would see whether it comes back to life, then try to get it fixed if it doesn't, and not go off the deep end. At least not before getting an actual bill.

Oh and if I were replacing it I'd probably get an ordinary PC instead of a Mac. Cheaper and you're in for less dosh if it goes tits up again.

Yep I think a good stretch of time without laptop. It wasn't deliberate and it's a good lesson. She'll be hating all the disapproval anyway.

Thank you for all your calm reassurance!

He makes me feel like the most lax mother in the world sometimes. xx

It was an accident so punish her for what exactly, she's already lost the laptop.

I really hope that isn't a euphemism for "He's from the 1950s and thinks that children should be little robots". Can't believe he wants to punish her for this.

Natural consequences is enough. Your DH isn't going to teach them anything by punishing them further.

I agree with you, not your DH. Your DD and your PILs will learn a valuable lesson from this with no need for an additional punishment.

Was it the 10-year-old or the 8-year-old who spilled the drink? If the 10-year-old took a drink near the laptop against your rules, then there is a case for labouring the point more, but again the punishment here (no laptop) is very befitting the crime and requires nothing additional. An 8-year-old should not be relied on to follow rules consistently anyway, although that shouldn't stop them from being imposed.

OFFS!! What earthly point does your H think he is making???
This kind of story makes me go all Alice Miller and wonder what was in his childhood that makes him want to 'punish' his own children.
I suspect it is not irrelevant that the present was from his parents, and further suspect that had it been from the maternal grandparents, he would have had a very different reaction.