Reporting a sexual assault - where to start?

[WhamBamThankYouMam]

Not sure where to put this really, so I'm guessing here's appropriate.

I think I'm ready to report it.

I was raped by my ex-boyfriend when I was seventeen. I remember starting to drink with him, my friend, and her partner and then my mind is totally blank, until I woke up with him on top of me. He got off me straight away and said I'd 'hurt' his penis somehow, I'm not sure if this was meant to distract me or something.

My friend told me I'd been that drunk they'd took me to hospital where they'd told them to take me home, but they'd gone to his house instead and that's where it happened.

I'm not sure whether I could access my medical records before going to the police, to see whether I was actually at the hospital? I'm concerned that there won't be any evidence and I don't want to go through with it if nothing comes from it. I could approach my friend about it but she told me afterwards that I consented to it, which I don't remember and surely if I was that drunk I was in hospital I couldn't have consented.

I'm not sure what to do, this has really affected me most of my life, I've attempted suicide before because of it. I don't want to reopen old wounds if nothing will come of it.

Sorry to hear about that awful assault and the effect it has had on you.

I think that you would be able to access records, maybe try contacting the hospital. But the best course of action is probably to contact Rape Crisis.

I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you should do with regards to reporting, but I just wanted to let you know that you can apply to read your medical records by writing to your GP surgery and formally requesting to see them.

Thanks, I just want to know what happened. I don't remember at least 5 hours, I have no clue what happened to me and I've never ever gotten like that drinking before or after. I'll get in touch with the surgery tomorrow.

When your friend said you consented what did she mean?

I said to her that I didn't remember saying yes and she told me I did, but she was next door with her boyfriend so I don't know how she would know that.

How could you have consented in that state?

Your 'friend' does not sound like a friend.

We're not close anymore, she has him on Facebook still. I'm not sure how close they are.

Have you tried phoning Rape Crisis?

0808 802 9999

I haven't, I'm in work at the minute. I'll have to phone then tomorrow when I have some time.

If you were that drunk you had to go to hospital then legally you were unable to give consent to intercourse. However rape cases are very hard to prove especially when there is no evidence and in cases where consent is an issue it tends to be one person's word against each other. These cases are very hard to prove in court and since the Crown Prosecution Service needs to have a realistic chance of conviction they may not be wiling to take if to court.

Don't want to be pessimistic but you need to know what you are up against. There is a 6.5% conviction rate at the moment. If you feel you are up for intense questioning by the police and can cope with the possibility of it not going to court then definitely report. If not then I think counselling may be a better option for you if you feel it's still affecting you. If you report you are also eligible to claim criminal injuries compensation whether it goes to court or not.

Best of luck, there is a lot of support out there but sometimes the criminal justice system isn't the best route to go down.

It's not pessimistic, that's what I'm afraid of, I doubt I could go through questioning or court if there wasn't much chance of seeing a conviction. I live in a small town and everyone would know what was going on. I guess it's something I really need to think about, I haven't had counselling before.

You would have legal anonymity but if he starts talking about it in your small town that might be very difficult for you. I'm so sorry, it's a bloody massive fight for many victims of sexual abuse to get justice. I agree that rape crisis or specialised counselling may be better for you. I wouldn't want to discourage you from reporting but you need to know what you are up against.

You were so drunk you were taken to hospital. You were unable to give consent by virtue of being drunk. There are legal precedents for this, look online for a footballer raping a drunk girl.

I hope you get closure, rape is horrible.