Where do I go from here?

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

Bit of a backstory so as not to dripfeed.

I've been NC with my parents for nearly 5 years. Long story but basically I would bet my right arm that my father has NPD. My mother is addicted to alcohol and prescription painkillers and quite self obsessed which I think is a coping mechanism.

I broke contact with my father and DH asked him to leave our house. I sent an email explaining the reasons why. I got a reply telling me I was hysterical, lying and blaming him for my poor choices. Weird as I had never been happier. My mother decided that as I didn't want contact with my father she couldn't see me. Fair enough, I was sad about it but have got on with my life and actually much happier without them
In it.

My DSis is still in regular contact with us all and we get on well. Over the years she has said again and again how much my mother misses the GC. I have offered for her to see them but she won't unless my father could too. My DSis wedding last year was the first time I had seen them for any length of time and was incredibly awkward.

My mother fell and broke her hip on holiday 2 weeks ago and was returned to the UK last weekend. I have been to see her twice at her request, once alone and once with DH and DC. She was awful with the DC. My 11yo DD who has always been her favourite was trying hard and talking to her about her friends at school and activities she enjoys and she got completely ignored. She asked my mother about how she was feeling and chit chat about the hospital and was dismissed.

I got another text saying she was looking forward to seeing me again tomorrow. What the heck do I do? I feel so conflicted.

I'm sorry, sounds very tough.
If you want to see her - I mean you WANT to, not just feel you should - then go for it.
But I'd say leave your kids out of it.
If it's been a long time, it might just be normal that she's not great at chatting to them. Or she may deliberately be holding back as you may be going to disappear (with them) again.
It's not fair on your kids to be in the middle of your mother's actions whether they be from awkwardness, defensiveness or even plain nastiness!
You need to decide what kind of relationship you want with her before the kids are involved.
If your father tells her not to see the kids, will she go along with him? You need to get through that first.

Who sent the text message; your mother?.

Would not bother visiting your mother after the last visit; it will likely be more of the same old same old. If you only go out of duty following such a summons its no point.

The text was from DSis telling me how happy my mother was that we had visited.

She is very frail and I feel guilty that I am keeping the GC from her even though I know it's not really as simple as that. I guess that she will try and get me and the DC to see my father. Not really sure how that would pan out as I would never expose them to his awfulness.

I would imagine that he was the one who said that she shouldn't see the GC if he couldn't. Not as a direct rule you understand, more a huge manipulation I feel lost and sad.

Anyone else?

I agree that you should only see your mother if you truly want to. I wouldn't bring the DC again and if she asks, be honest about her last interaction with them and how it made your DD feel. It's one thing to be uncomfortable, but it sounds like your mother blanked your daughter and that is just not right.

Sorry, I know this is a difficult situation.

I am heading in again to give her the vaping stuff I have bought for her. I'm going alone and will see how it goes.