What do you have going for you?

[FolkGirl]

I quite often wonder what someone would see in me. What makes me different from everyone else? What is it about me that would attract someone to me?

And I'm still not sure that I know and I wondered if you did.

I'm loyal, funny, intelligent but best of all I have two FANTASTIC children who anyone would be lucky to have in their life .

Good question.

I think it's about shared interests, common goals, level of silliness and seriousness.

So is as much about the other person as it is you.

Because you are you. There's no one like you. You're probably kind, honest, loyal, epic in the sack etc.

As for me, I'm bright, funny, good company, I'm far from gorgeous but I look OK most of the time.

On the downside, I fart a lot, don't look good in a swimming cossie and wear stupid hats. OH doesn't seem to mind these traits.

Ha phale you got me

Well, since I've been single for 10 years, I'm guessing naff all!

I'm just fucking amazing I'm not even bothered.

Yes to shared things. Your strengths to one person may be your weaknesses to another.

I hold strong views, have a dark sense of humour, am generally quite chirpy/animated and am compassionate and intelligent. Those are all worded to sound positively, and that's how a prospective 'interest' should see me.
But someone not so fond might say I 'am too serious' (strong views on certain moral things), have a 'weird' sense or humour, act 'odd'/'too intense' or am weak (compassionate/liberal/hold no grudges).

Someone somewhere (or multiple people) will eventually appreciate me for the reasons I appreciate myself. Hopefully another feminist vegan animal lover.

To XH I was a nag, overbearing, needy and clingy, overweight, unattractive, lazy, over-emotional, scatterbrained pain in the arse.

To DP I am organised and independent, loving and attentive, curvaceous and sexy, beautiful, laid back, sensitive, creative and a joy to come home to.

It's all in the eye of the beholder.

I believed everything that XH thought about me for years. I started to realise that I wasn't all of those things when I was single. Once I met someone who really loved me I realised how awesome I actually am!

I'm sure you are too, you just have to find that person who sees it.

Badger That's a good point.

I think I would come across to a lot of people/men as a bit 'boring', but then, I suspect they're the sort I'd never be interested in either.

It's interesting, a lot of things other people are saying about themselves apply to me too.

I think I'm good company, intelligent, kind, honest and loyal. I too have a collection of 'interesting' hats. I don't wear a lot of make up. I conduct many of my conversations with my children through the medium of song. I bake a lot. I'm also a feminist but only vegetarian (not disciplined enough to go the whole hog! )

Folk girl you sound great.

a special blend of pheromones.

I think I also come across to a lot of people as quite boring. I don't go out a lot, I read, I do solo pursuits. But I am not into drama, I cook well, my home is lovely, I am a great listener and very loyal. I'm also clever and good with strangers which my partner likes when he takes me out to his work events.

I think the only thing we can be is ourselves, the best version of how life intended us to be. And the right people will like us for that. It's no use trying to be what you are not and it never works, and therefore it is no use chasing people to like us, because that will only come naturally to some people, just as we don't like and feel comfortable with all people all the time.

That's the way I view it anyway.

FolkGirl you sound creative and also emotionally intelligent which is a fantastic balance of two fabulous traits.

You have a lot going for you.

The relationship thing though? I think that's down to chemistry.

Put the milk et al away and we can marry Folkgirl.

Sound brill. And like you know what's good about you! Keep telling yourself that and don't be disappointed when someone doesn't see it. Like you say, you wouldn't be compatible anyway. I used to be a bit offended when I realised people didn't like me. Then someone pointed out I didn't seem to like them anyway so why did I care. Was a good point.

Totally agree with comments about being yourself.

I am positive, enthusiastic, relaxed, cultural, well dressed, slim, well mannered, have my own hair and teeth.

But I am also insecure, highly emotional, and a bit intense.

All of these things together is the real me. Best not to try to pretend to be something different. Not for everyone though.

Hmm

I'm funny, intelligent, caring, sympathetic a good listener and attractive but I'm also short tempered and incredibly shy. You really do have to know me well to get past my wall but once your in the castle grounds you will be protected for life as I'm very loyal.