Update - Is this an emotional affair?

[onemorestep123]

6 weeks ago I posted this:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2001670-This-is-an-emotional-affair-right

I received a huge amount of great support and that along with support of my friends helped me to end my relationship of 3 years to a prize twat who was having an emotional affair. After the first couple of weeks of sadness and his attempts to get in touch I was feeling good. Since then have spoken to him a couple of times, just to sort out various joint issues. It was hard, but I was pleasant enough and didn't give him any kind of a hard time, and I even thought we could perhaps be friends down the line, with all of this behind us.

Fast forward to last Friday, I was on a night out with friends, he was at the same club. We acknowledged each other, but were far enough away from each other not to have to socialise. Friends and I decided to leave early and head off to another place. Walking up the street from the club we noticed two figures snogging the faces off each other, it was my ex and the married OW. I walked on, completely shocked (it's one thing to be aware of what is going on, it is another to see it in front of you), two of my friends stopped and had a go at them. I know I am no longer with him, it is not my business, I have to leave alone. I thought I was well over him, have been feeling good for the past few weeks, really positive about the future and doing lots of new things with my free time. This has knocked me. As far as I know her husband still doesn't know.

I feel slightly vindicated that I was right all along about the two of them, my gut instincts where correct, this was always going to lead on to something else, despite his lies and assurances that he would not speak to her again, she meant nothing to him and it was never, ever going to be anything else. Emotional Affairs are never harmless or innocent. I am not looking for advice, I wanted to let you know that you were all right and I am so glad I took your advice and cut it off with him when I did, and I am sitting on my hands and trying my hardest not to contact her husband.......

That must have been tough to see, but, like you say, at least now there won't be any "but what if..." doubts running through your head.

You've had a wobble, you're still moving in the right direction. Don't let this stand in your way of the exciting new life you have ahead of you and all the new things you've been doing with your time. You have proof now that you are better than him. Well both of them really, because even if the OW hadn't made a commitment to you, she'd made one to her own husband.

Stand tall, dust yourself off, have a cup of tea and pat yourself on the back for making the best decision of your life.

I discovered my exH's 'emotional' affair (although I tend to leave the emotional bit off. And affair is an affair) about 18 months ago. I'm not going to pretend that it's always easy, or that I never have a wobble, but my life is unrecognisable now from what it was then.

And yours will be too.

Yeah what a horrible thing to have to witness. Do you know what, give it another few months and you will look back and wish you had done it sooner, they are both as bad as each other, they won't last, look how they have met, some people are just heartless and have no conscience, these two are prime examples, you are well rid.

I would have taken a picture and sent it to her DH and posted on FB. But them l am a bitch when l have to be !!!!

Folkgirl - an affair is an affair and I realise that most will start with an emotional connection and go on from there. I am glad to hear that you are in a better place now. Thank you.

ohldoneedtogetagrip - wish I had, but was too shocked and friends just went for them!!

Jan45 - feeling better than I did at the weekend, wrote a couple of long letters to both of them and burnt them, immensely therapeutic!

My STBXH is now engaged to his "emotional affair" that he denied. He couldn't even wait for me to file the divorce papers to propose to her. But she can have him, I'm fine with that. I deserve better.

You deserve better too.