Is he a narcissist?

[Winstonrocked]

How can I tell.
Husband of five years. We have three kids.
I've got to the point where, I am stressed out, not eating properly, exhausted and depressed.

• Gives me silent treatment for days and weeks over nothing, then suddenly changes to Mr nice.

-Works all the time on his own upstairs, never spends time with us even at weekend

• Constantly citizens me over tiny things
• uses sarcasm to put me down
• Does not really have any social life, nor do I for tat matter

- No emotion, never hugs, kisses me apart from when he wants something, give me cards with no writing just his name signed - Never helps with kids, even when I am on my rknees R heavily pregnant, has bathed or put them to bed. - Tells kids he will do things he never does -talks alot about earning more money and success when he does talk - I find myself walking on eggshells everyday not knowing what mood he is in

• has never given physical abuse but makes a horrible growling sound when he is annoyed which makes my hair stand on end

- laughs at people as though they are stupid or can totally ignore them

I'm at a point where I know I have to leave but I am trying to read up on what exactly is going on here. I read an article on narcissism yesterday which fitted him to a T.

What other signs could I look for and does this sound like one or just a meanie?

I left a man similar to this. You can too. Believe me you won't regret it. It's the best thing u can do for your children. I am 9 months down the line and immeasurably happier. IMO men like this are a bit like narcissists as they stop seeing you as a person and start seeing you as a 'thing'. This was borne out totally by the way my STBXH responded to me kicking him out. It's a useful comparison. Whether he would ever meet the diagnostic criteria is irrelevant. Just get some RL support and advice and get him out.

I have narc mother and a narc ex. He doesn't sound particularly narcissistic. But he does sound deeply unpleasant.

He sounds awful. I had an ex like this. My first thought was, he's a bit 'odd', doesn't know how to relate to people, doesn't do social norms. Then I made the transition to thinking he was narc, then realised he's abusive. He is narc as well because the two often go hand in hand...he's abusive because of his narc traits. He's superior and entitled and that made him abusive, e.g above lowly tasks like cooking and working for a living. All academic really though. Get away. You can't unknow this. It will be the best thing to happen to you.

Exactly Colin, most people are beneath him apart from a few 'idols' he worships but they are far and few between.
Extremely self absorbed and vacant. Lowly tasks as you mention are for women. I don't think he has a high opinion of any woman to my knowledge.

Handy, how exactly did he respond?

Very few people will actually meet full diagnostic criteria for NPD but most of us have some narcissistic traits. It's actually very healthy to have some.

It really doesn't matter if this guy has a label or not, he is a twat and you are miserable. That is enough to leave.