Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Online dating advice

11 replies

Canihaveaslice · 08/04/2014 23:02

So tonight I've finally done it and set up a profile on pof. I'm not sure if this is going to be for me but thought why not try!

I'm sure over the next few days I'll have lots of questions but the first one is - do I have to reply to every message I get? Even from those who are completely out of my age group and obv just trying their luck?

Thanks

OP posts:

Lweji · 08/04/2014 23:05

No. You don't have to reply. Or just reply, no.

There is a thread somewhere on Relationships for dating support. You can join in.

Montane50 · 08/04/2014 23:57

I initially replied to all enquiries, but it soon became a chore! Do whatever makes you feel comfortable-and have fun!

FloraSpreadableMacDonald · 09/04/2014 06:14

My advice is block anyone who messages you and is a definite no. That way their name wont appear when they are online.
I started off being polite and replying to everyone but i spent more time replying to men i had no interest in to actively looking for my match!
If someone takes the effort to write a really nice message, even though you are not interested, then a "thank you for your message. I dont think we are a match but good luck" kinda thing is suffice :0)

RobbieRobsYumYum · 09/04/2014 09:51

Yes I agree. It isn't in my nature to ignore someone - no matter bad, but I soon realised that often a reply - even if basic - can be interpreted as interested. Especially on POF which is free so tends to have lots and lots of interesting (not in a good way) chaps. I like your response FloraSpreadable and I may just copy that.

LividofLondon · 09/04/2014 10:04

Initially I answered messages with a polite "thanks but you're not what I'm looking for/too far away, etc. Best of luck on here". Then I thought, hell, if they can't be bothered to read my profile to check what I'm after then I can't be bothered to reply. So I'd ignore and block. Lots of chancers out there who just look at photos and send a message

Original poster

Canihaveaslice · 09/04/2014 17:04

Thanks all, all the messages I've had so far are from no one I would be interested in but I felt bad not replying. Ill do what's mentioned above.
On pof is there a place where you enter the age group your interested in, that way at least the 60yr olds will hopefully not message me

OP posts:

ALittleStranger · 09/04/2014 18:35

Yes I agree. It isn't in my nature to ignore someone - no matter bad,

I really don't get this. If someone just started talking to you on the street or a bar, would you feel honour bound to engage them in conversation?

Just because two people are signed up to a dating site doesn't mean they owe each other anything.

MadeMan · 09/04/2014 19:01

Online dating starts off well with lots of excitement and enthusiasm, but after a while of the same old faces, you might begin to wish you were with the datee faces replacing all the owls, rabbits and ducks.

bouncyagain · 09/04/2014 21:28

Lol at mademan

velvet74 · 09/04/2014 21:52

You know what they say, no reply is a reply.

Original poster

Canihaveaslice · 10/04/2014 20:59

Well I'm 2 days in and I feel really bad as some of them sound like lovely men but I'm yet to have a message from anyone I would be remotely interested in. They've varied from 24yrs to 50 (I'm 37) it's just made me realise what I thought all along, the nice men have already been snatched up!

OP posts:

Flip