removing wedding / engagement rings

[Elocampane]

although we 'agreed' to split up 2 months ago, and DH removed his wedding ring after a 'disagreement' at the weekend, why do I still feel so sad at removing mine?

I feel mostly positive about moving on, but still feel 'wrong' without my rings...

There's no law saying you have to take them off. I don't wear my engagement ring but I would be lost without my wedding ring now.

Maybe it'll come in time but I really wouldn't stress about it. I'm sorry you're feeling blue. :(

I know, but I'd feel a bit of a loser if I still wore mine & he wasn't wearing his

but thank you x

Is this really the end of your relationship OP? I noticed you put 'agreed' in your post.

You could always wear it on another finger? my mum did this for a bit until she felt ok with removing it completely.

I had to take mine off for a small op a couple of weeks after STBEX left and it just felt utterly wrong to put them back on afterwards.

Do it when it feels right.

yeah gamer, at first I disagreed, but he was a bit of a twat & I realised he's not the man I married.

but we've been together 17 years, I've worn engagement ring for 13.5 years. it feels bare without it...
and brings it home that the future I expected isn't going to happen...

You wear what you like.

In fact, the wedding rings are symbols of the commitment of the other person, not ours.
By removing his wedding ring, he is setting you free, not making himself free.
You remove yours when you want to. If anything, it should be a reminder to you and to him of his vows.

Maybe you should explain this to him. I think I'd enjoy doing it.

If he wants to make a statement, he should ask for your wedding ring back. I.e. for you to free him of his commitment.

You could do what a close friend of mine did and wear them strung on a fine chain as a necklace for a while - either both, or one or the other.

You could also try taking them off to do some particularly mucky housework or baking and try leaving them off for longer periods as an adjustment tactic maybe?

lweji, I will always love & be married to the man I married - he's changed so much that he's not that person any more

Three years after my ex DW ended the marriage and we then had a really acrimonious divorce, u noticed the other day that she had started wearing her engagement ring again!!

bouncy, that's weird - it feels so symbolic to me

I know a lady that continued to wear her rings 15 years after she split. She was very proud and worried that other people would comment that she was divorced/ Unmarried at her age. Personally u think it's like the final symbol that the marriage is over.

My thoughts are with you xxx

thanks Jimmysmum

me too. that's why it's so sad

It was a big deal when I took mine off, especially because it had been my late grandmothers. It felt very strange and it seemed to take forever for the ridge to go out of my finger.

It is quite a big deal because your ring is a massive statement - equally it would be a massive statement and the most amazing person that would ever make me put one back on again.

I had the problem of that I really missed my rings when I got divorced, I used to twiddle and mess with them a lot, there being nothing on my finger was a constant reminder of what we'd lost. So I bought a big cheap crappy ring from Claire's or similar, that was very obviously not a wedding or engagement ring, and wore/twiddled that instead. It made me feel better anyway.

mardy, I've bought myself a 'new beginnings' ring to wear on my middle finger so my hand doesn't feel empty.

I do sympathise op.It does feel sad and symbolises the end if one road when you take it off. A few months after my ex left I brought some new rings and moved my wedding ring to another finger. I didn't have an engagement ring . To me the rings I wear after he went represent my children, the marriage that made my children and my new future. For me it feels right to be able to acknowledge my past, present and future with rings chosen for me and by me.
Good luck.my thoughts are with you

I stopped wearing my rings, but kept them for years. Then I sold them and used the money towards a holiday in Mexico! Do what feels right for you, there are no rules.

A friend of mine took her rings to a craft jeweller (as distinct from a high st shop) and had them made into one new ring that she wore on the other hand. I thought that was a nice idea.

My exhusband sold my rings one night to fund his cocaine habit. I however have worn rings on my engagement finger since. If anyone was to ask why I would say it reminds me of the mistakes I made in my past and though I do still love the man I married he changed beyond recognition

I took mine off straight away. It made me feel sick to wear them and see them.

But everyone is different and you need to do what is right for you.

My rings came off quickly but it was a huge wrench to remove them. I still miss seeing those rings... I keep meaning to sell my engagement ring but I can't seem to bring myself to do that.

That said I'm off on holiday soon to a conservative country and will be wearing my wedding ring for the occasion; as a lone woman it means I get hassled less if I wear a wedding ring.

It is so odd that you have wrote this. I had mine off all week last week and felt awful.

As someone else said the wedding ring that you wear is a symbol of the givers love and fidelity. I simply couldn't wear mine without thinking what he had been doing. I could only think of our vows and felt like he had shat on them.

I felt empty without them but the removal made a massive statement. We are trying to work through our problems now. Are you sure you want to separate or do you know that this is the end? As someone else suggested perhaps you could explain the symbolism to him and enquire if he would like to be released from his commitment. Rather I get the feeling that the marriage is not over from your side and perhaps you would welcome a reconciliation?

I never got an engagement or wedding ring but now that we are splitting up I feel very conscious that I don't have rings on. Until very recently I was carrying on in the belief that I would one day have a ring/rings, as DH always said he would get them for me. Nobody has ever commented on me not wearing a wedding ring but suddenly now it feels like a beacon saying SINGLE MOTHER, which is of course ridivulous.