Debated writing this as it seems so real now.
have asked advice before and had tried to discuss with partner,but it has just got to the point where it wore me down. I had to finally tell him he had choices to make in his life and i wouldn't be in touch. (we don't live together)
have been together for good few years, a broken man when i met him from previous relationships. I was wary i could never change him and told him i wouldn't but would let him see how he could have a kind,honest,trustworthy woman. I fulfilled that in everything i did for him. But he had skeletons that at times would come out.
had so many ups and downs but always got through. but in last two years a career change has made him v depressed and fed up. I have supported him and tried to keep his spirits up. but recently he has lied about something he felt he couldn't tell me because it would upset me. so i told him always tell me, give me that decision and be honest. I would always discuss with him rationally as we overall had great communication. But he lied again last weekend and i just couldn't forgive him. I knew he was lying and just told him that and that i couldn't handle this anymore. If he had told the truth i would have been fine. but i can't stand the lies.
coupled with his complete focus on his career change which i get put to the bottom of the list and his negative attitude and lack of appreciation for all that i do... i stopped communicating. it has been two days now. I will stick with this n/c but it's a killer. I just want him to wake up and realise how much i have done for him and how his behaviour was damaging us.
But i know he wont' he'll sulk and blame me. so sad to have lost something that i worked hard for and got through hard times where his career change has put so much pressure on us. we were nearly there but i just had enough. i'm dissapointed in myself i didn't stick it out. but i'm so angry with him for taking me for granted.
i miss him terribly but i won't contact him. i look at my phone every hr hoping he has had a moment of clarity and in a movie like scene he will text an apology or beg forgiveness but i know that won't happen. he's angry that he thinks i have left him and for no 'good reason'. Left him when he needed me to support him during the last few months of career change.
i am analysing everything and blaming myself for not being even better (could i have looked different, could i have bitten tongue when he was selfish and self centrered) i know it's stupid but i can't help it.
an ending of a relationship you wanted to work seems like such a failure in my book. i know this is just words on a page for some, another woman let down by a man. but to me it's a life i wanted with someone and i'm so sad it has come to this. But i deserve to be treated well.