Getting over an ex you cant hate?

[stormtreader]

Lots of people seem to find it helpful to focus on the things about their ex that they hated, but how do I get past an ex that I really cant find any reason to hate?
He broke up with me because he said he didnt think there was a spark, he acted very loving towards me in person but never told me he loved me, he never actually lied to me. He wasnt perfect but I loved him :(

So how do I get past being dumped by someone I cant hate?

How long ago was the break-up and how long had you been together? From the few sentences you've written, he sounds like a person that maintained an emotional distance and that there was never any real connection on his part. In isolation, there's nothing there to hate. If you hadn't been seeing each other all that long chances are he was keeping his options open and you were just a bad match. OTOH If you tell me that you were together 10+ years and have several children then he'd be a bloody cold fish.

I think the best thing you can do is work on filling your life with constructive activities that boost your self-esteem and confidence. Reduce the amount of time you devote to wallowing over the past. That way you gain something from the experience & you're a little less likely to 'love' someone who gives you nothing back in return in future. Raise the bar.

Just make sure you go no contact for a start. Then focus on you for a bit. Remind yourself you're perfectly lovable and don't get too hung up on the fact he didn't feel a spark. The right bloke for you obviously will, so he wasn't right for you, however you feel about him.

Get out as much as possible with people that care about/love you too. It'll reinforce all the above

We were together for 6 months, we broke up about 2 weeks ago.

He had broken up with me about 3 weeks before that, but then came round and told me he'd made a mistake and wanted me back, and after that became very physically affectionate in public and around his friends and brother, seemed like he was really putting a lot of effort into it. I think thats when I realised I was falling in love, and then when I had the "last weekend was really great, id like for us to date exclusively" talk thats when it came out that he didnt feel "romantic" towards me and didnt feel a spark or think about me when we werent together.

I just wish hed been horrible, or lied to me or something, something I could point to and say "this is why this person is not worthy of me", but I cant hate him for not loving me.

Why focus on him at all? Why not focus on the positives of yourself and moving on instead?

There's no easy way forward. You've been dumped and now you're hurting. Only time will ease your heartache.

At least he was honest enough. It wasn't that you aren't good enough, just that yous didn't match up.

The best is yet to come. You will fall in love again.

If you want to hate him for something, I'd suggest it's for stringing you along. Picking you up when he fancied some company, saying/doing what it took to get you into bed and dropping you when it suited. I'd call that pretty horrible behaviour. Using someone....

Agree with Cog

Sounds like he got back together with you for selfish reasons (i.e lonliness, sex etc). He did string you along a bit there but at least he broke up with you when he did, rather than string you along longer.

I'd be glad if I were you!