Is it normal

[Veryconfusedme77]

Together for 6 years, married for 3, DD aged 2. I feel like our relationship is over in a way. He is a great guy and dad but i think we both are not in love with each other anymore even though we love each other very much. There is no romance or sex or anything of what used to make our relationship so special. Beyond child duties and house stuff we don't share anything, we have very little to talk about. I feel like we are flat mates, not husband and wife. We just get on with things day after day and argue constantly about rather silly stuff related to everyday life. It's exhausting and very lonely. I feel so so lonely and depressed about it. We are in our mid 30s so I find it hard to imagine the rest of my life like this. At the same time I'm not thinking for one moment I want it to be over, I think we made a commitment to each other and also to out DD. But is it normal to be like this? I understand relationships change with time, and it's not going to be honeymoon forever, but like this? Is it normal not to be in love anymore, just love your partner? I don't know how you get it back? Is it even possible?

Overwhelmed by all the replies and support thanks everyone, you all are adding food for thought for me. I hope I didn't make it sound like my DH is the bad guy not loving me anymore. I think the issue is that myself I don't feel "in love" anymore or at least I question it. Ido love him a lot but if I have to be honest since DD was born all my tlc and loving have gone in that direction and I will admit it's also my fault for letting things slip. I have reached out to his family and we have a date night booked in a few weeks for our anniversary. I'm not waiting for him to organise I'm ok to be proactive. But when I told him a week or 2 ago that I had organised this, he didn't seem that excited! I need to be shown he is in love and wants me etc by I don't mean gifts or jewellery or all that. Just that way he used to look at me, that would be nice. And I know I have self esteem issues and I don't look as good as I used to before DD but still. I know I could initiate it but it's been so far gone I feel almost embarrassed like in that respect we are a bit of 2 strangers to each other. And it's not like I would ever think of looking elsewhere. I just don't feel it. My life is 100% DD then add work and chores, I'm flat out. I m stuck by this feeling that we have grown out of each other and in 2 opposite directions. But I know I have to work on it and also get him to work on it too and understand I'm not happy

My heart goes out to you, OP. I reached a similar stage when our DCs were small. It wasn't a picnic, but we managed to sort it in the end and find each other again. I hope you can too.

My DH and I also went through something like this when our DCs were small. We went on a marriage course which helped us start communicating better and get things back on track.