Time spent talking to each other

[emkana]

Dh and I keep clashing over this.
I reckon we should have regular times in the week when we do nothing else other than talking to each other.
He reckons that with chatting on the phone during the day, talking at the family dinner table, while watching telly etc. there is nothing left to talk about.
What do you all think?

bump

seems a bit forced to me to have regular times

is there a wider problem?

We are generally under a lot of strain atm.
I just feel that it's sad that there's never any time when we do nothing other than concentrate on each other.
There always seems to be something else going on when we talk, like kids around, work, telly, etc.

I'd probably do it by stealth

make nice meal, wine, no telly

set times... mmm, maybe not

if you're looking to make a better habit for one another you're better off doing it in a more romantic way

opposite, my dp wants to talk more to me but he rambles on about football we've been together 17 years

I agree emkana, life gets in the way and we end up taking our loved one for granted. Lots gping on, work, kids, families etc.

Time to be husband and wife is very important. If you have to make time then so be it.

we are the same emkana

it's very hard isn't it

we had a really good afternoon together recently when we both took a half-day off work and went out for lunch while the kids were at nursery

is that a possibility any time soon?

I'd be a bit freaked if DP announced a set talking time. I think I'd probably find any excuse to escape it.
Go out to a restaurant where there are no day to day distractions and talk about what it is thats bothering you.

i feel the longer we've been together the more we want to do separate things but still be together does that make sense??

I don't think there has to be something bothering you in particular

It's just nice to feel like a normal human being rather than a mother-cum-cleaning-person-cum-milk-cow

I wouldn't do set times each day as such, but if you can arrange say one/two nights a week, to do something together as a couple, that'd surely help improve things?

i think it has to be spontaneous. or at least try to orchestrate it as such. otherwise it can seem false and laboured. try and have a bit of fun too. life doesn't have to be so serious with schedules and worry.

remember you are your own person

From time to time we make sure that once a week we don't eat dinner with the children but later, after they've gone to bed, and decree a baby-free hour when we talk about anything other than the children or ourselves as a family. Ourselves as a couple is a permitted topic .

I agree that one should have times when you can concentrate on each other, but scheduling regular times may be a bit boring. No reason why you can't schedule a 'date' for the two of you every so often, though.

I like the 10-15m bedtime chats just before or after you turn out the lights.

Hi Emkana

If your dh feels setting time to talk is not right, then maybe you could set time aside to play a game together. My dh and I did this when we were going through a bad patch and it really eased our stress - and we had fun together. We used to play Scene It as my dh is a bit competitive with games like moonopoly, etc.

Not sure if this helps.