Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can I offer an antidote to all the cheaters (and 4am) threads?

2 replies

purplepickles · 06/04/2014 13:06

I'm late 20s, my partner is early 40s. He has some friends (although not his main circle of friends) who are also early 40s and are all married/ in long term relationships, all but one has children.

My partner and I work in the professions, however this circle of friends all work in the music industry, and a certain scene in particular. We are often out in clubs and bars until 4am or later, however due to childcare (or perhaps differing wants and needs) their partners never come out (which is a shame for me as it would be great to meet them all).

It would be very easy to read all the heartbreaking threads on mn and believe that even the most caring and responsible of family men would be unfaithful given the opportunity.

I guess I just wanted to share that this is not my experience, as a young woman still very much out on the scene. What I do see is unbridled geekery, music is their passion and asside from the usual catch up and pleasantries the night is dominated by talk of sourcing the rarest vinyl, reminiscing about back in the day, chatting about recent events they've been to, whats happening work-wise etc.

I'm not suggesting there aren't women who try it (and often these young women are models or wannabes - given that these friends are very much established in the industry) but the seediness of entertaining these women is not lost on these mature, largely level-headed blokes (I'm not sure if its also relevant to mention that they're all Guardian reading liberal types?). I've known them for about 7 years now and not once seen anything to lead me to think they have been in any way unfaithful whilst out. Their partners and children are a live and meaningful part of the conversation.

Of course, I'm not suggesting these men should get a pat on the back, being faithful and respectful whilst away from your partner should be a given, however I just thought I'd put my observations out there.

OP posts:
ProlificPenguin · 06/04/2014 13:10

As an aside why not suggest a dinner or lunch during normal hours if you want to hang out with these wives?

purplepickles · 06/04/2014 13:26

Yes we've provisionally planned a couple of events over the years eg I was meant to meet a couple of them (and the kids) last summer at a BBQ but it was cancelled at last minute. Hopefully something similar might come around this summer, I'd invite them to ours if my garden wasn't like something out of scrapheap challenge.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page