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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Could it work???

3 replies

Hup · 06/04/2014 11:42

As many know on her PE DH and I separated four weeks ago after a couple of months of turmoil. We had an awful year and stopped communicating culminating with his fateful words "I don't love myself so I can't love you, I have no feelings". Lots of hurt followed lots of nasty things said by both of us, as tends to happen I imagine in these circumstances.

Thing is I still love him. I still thing that stress/depression (on both sides) has had a lot to do with it, alongside my medical problems following a miscarriage, which may lead to me needing a hysterectomy.

He says things like 'I don't know if there is anyway back' and 'I don't know what you want, you either want me back or want to divorce' (to me) when I mention divorce. We get on still - we have a family night on a Saturday at the request of DS who is struggling with this. We do bicker/get upset about the situation sometimes (but not in front of DS) but generally it is ok.

My question is really just if anyone has been here and sorted it - can a separation be a positive thing to move a relationship on? Nobody else involved. I have tried to move on - booked a couple of holidays for me and DS, lots of activities etc. but in reality I (and DSS) just want life back (15 good years, six bad months).

OP posts:
ProlificPenguin · 06/04/2014 13:18

Would he consider couple counselling? If so then maybe?

My now DH and I broke up for several months, then got back together now married with DD. can happen, if it doesn't then the counselling will help you understand why and give you peace of mind that you gave it your best shot.

If he won't entertain it then let him be, sometimes men just want to sit on their rock and ponder. Good for you re the holidays, that is what I did in the separation and have great memories.

Hup · 06/04/2014 13:44

Thank you penguin and glad to know it worked for you - maybe there is some hope

OP posts:
Hup · 06/04/2014 18:08

My biggest problem is wondering whee he is when he is not here - it eats me up even though we are separated! Is that normal?

OP posts:
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