Resentment in a relationship...How do i move forward?

[Giveme5minutes]

I started to resent how much freedom my dp has.

Basically our dc have made no difference to his work or social life. Whereas now, I have no social life. I am a sahm. No family or friends locally.

I resent him so much. I resent his lack of support, care or understanding. I don't see how we can move on from this point as he doesn't 'get it'. He thinks he is supportive etc.

Is he right? Can we find a solution? Anyone else been in this sort of situation & found a way forward?

Communication does sound as though it is the problem - you are speaking but he isn't hearing! Perhaps you need to tell him that he comes to therapy with you or it's over because he is not supporting you anyway.

Thankyou rainbowsmiles.

I've got to try it, haven't I? My dp doesn't want us to part. He's no family or home without me. How did you find a counsellor?

I'm now on my own with a 3 yr old and 18 month old twins, it wasn't how I expected my marriage to pan out but neither is it the end of the world. Far easier to do things on your own than wait for a partner to step up and feel resentful and disappointed when they don't.

I just searched the Internet. We could only do certain times so it took a while. We were recommended the one we went to by another therapist who didn't have any appointments. The one we went with was this therapists supervisor and a specialist in couples counselling from what I recall.

The most revealing about counselling was just as random said -I was talking and communicating but he wasn't hearing anything.

It's not just as easy as counselling will fix it but it did help.

Your plate is so full. Try and detatch a bit for now. Work on not getting into the self pity resentment circle of doom. Book in time out from the kids and leave the house even if it's just for a walk then you don't hear or see what he does or doesn't do.

I would be tempted to book myself into the nearest travel lodge for a few £20 per night room deals so you can get that lie in.

Tempting Random Mess but ebf!

Time to start building up that stockpile in the freezer

Book now for when the youngest is weaned?