Toxic friend

[Mrswellyboot]

A friend I have known for many years (she is a bit of a pain - moany and rude, at times her bluntness is not meant to be nasty but she lacks tact) has tormented me with texts, notes through the door, phonecalls, she rang and visited my mother, I am tormented

It didn't have to be like this. I had a baby and asked her to give me a few days before visiting (emcs, bleeding nipples) That was the start of it. She rang my mum (who is very critical and spiteful at times) hinting it was my dh who wouldn't let her in (it wasnt)

She said that I should get over an emcs and no one had a tough time like her. This is while still in hospital. No one likes competitive misery but something came over me and I realised I didn't need this type if person in my life. Anyway she visited me when I got home.

I could deal with meeting her occasionally. As I said, she is not rotten to the core- far from it- but we have little in common and not on same the wavelength at all. She has initiated most of our meet ups and I know she is lonely so I just felt I couldn't not meet her.

The more I have let her know I need space (I didn't want her in my face criticising me with new baby - she says things like some babies are greedy, mad for the tit, you spoil them by holding them, I coud have secondary infertility next time around, mocks what other people call their baby) the more she has hounded me

Anyways things came to a head when she was waiting in the car park the other day. Hysterical crying, what had she done no wrong. I was nice to her but said I just wanted to enjoy my baby that she spoke before thinking and whole I know she is good person, I don't need it at the moment or her stirring things with my mother. Cue her saying I was a hermit and she calls a spade a spade. She then asked me to meet her for lunch one of the days.

I couldn't sleep that night so text her begging her (and I wrote begging twice) to leave me be. That I do not want to meet up again ever, I had to be that blunt.

I think it's the end of it but its still annoying me. If it was an ex I could say it was harassment.

'If it was an ex I could say it was harassment.'

this is harassment. has she contacted you since you told her to leave you alone?

if not, i would tell her that if she does contact you again you will contact the police. you now consider her to be harassing you.

you don't need negative people in your life ever. no matter who they are. you'll feel a whole lot better if you surround yourself with loving, kind people. there are lots out there. you don't have to waste your time with nastiness.

enjoy your time with your lovely baby. sorry you're having such a tough time. take care and try not to give her any more headspace.

blimey, I hope that's going to be and end to it, she sounds crazy!

I can't call the police, I wouldn't go that far

She still text after everything that she needed to explain she did no wrong and that's why she was contacting me all those times.

She works in the community supporting families etc (she should have been at work while she was waiting for me to return home in the car park outside my house)

I remember reading your other posts about this friend.

It's a shame it got to this point but i don't think you had much choice.

I hate that crap about "spade being a spade' people like that r generally just rude!

Hopefully she will sod off now & leave you alone.

Ignore her...

ok don't go that far.

stop responding. she won't stop while you keep engaging.

She works in the community supporting families etc (she should have been at work while she was waiting for me to return home in the car park outside my house)

She's dangerous. with no boundaries. I would call the police, it is harassment, but she's allowed to go fuck with other peoples minds, all in the name of employment?

Do not answer her texts or calls or emails or open the door. Ignore her in the street. Cross the road.

If she continues contact it is harassment. You could change your number but I guess she will contact other family.

I would send one final text saying you no longer wish to have contact with her and any further texts or phone calls to you or any family members will be considered by you to be harassment and you will be contacting police if she makes anymore contact. If she continues to text do not reply. Let her text several times before contacting the police if that's what you decide to do so it shows a course of conduct.

Sounds awful OP.

Delete, block and ignore. You're being bullied. Good luck x

You have told her in person, and by text to leave you alone.

The next step is the police 101 if she texts you again.

Nothing short of this will stop her.

She's not a nice person.
She's taken a traumatic and wonderful time in your life and turned it round to being all about her.

you aren't playing the correct part in her drama so she is hounding you into submission.
It is harassment and someone in her role should actually know a hell of a lot better, which makes it even worse that she chose this path of action.
Warn her if she contacts you again you will consider it harassment and will log it with the police. She is aware what that could do to her career therefore the next move is hers. If she continues she does so in the full knowledge of the potential consequences.

If you hear from her again I would text her to say that you haven't changed your mind and that her behaviour after your text asking for no contact was harassment. Mention that in her line of work she would be aware of the implications of that.