Husband has got social services involved-sorry long...

[BelleBoyd]

My H and I have a 4 yr old DD and a 3 week old DS. We had an argument a week ago about him playing loud music near our DS..anyway I lost my temper with him-sleep deprived and short fuse.
So the next day I get an emergency visit from the health visitor saying H has called them to indicate I have mental health issues ie PPD or even PPP. He said to them I had been hallucinating and they were worried the children weren't safe with me.
I don't have any depression, I am tired though and I am often fed up with H for various reasons. With our first DD I made the mistake of confiding in H that in the first 2 weeks I was so sleep deprived that I hallucinated one time only! DD was a terrible sleeper-very colicky from the start. DS much better at sleeping but obviously only for a couple of hours at a time.
Anyway when the health visitor came round she could see I was managing fine and said what had happened. I was quite taken aback and probably said some things I shouldnt have. H has had addiction and mental health issues and I told them but tbh it is on record. I just felt I had to defend myself. Shouldn't have said a thing though.
I also admitted to arguing with him and that DD had witnessed arguments in the past.
Anyway HV said she'd have to refer to SS. So I've had a visit from HV and S worker who wanted to see H's medical records and we were asked to sign something to allow that. SW said that arguing in front of the children was damaging to them and H's shouting etc was domestic abuse.
So they have started an investigation but I'm not sure what could happen?
Really pissed off that H has brought this all on us...

Their prime concern will be the safety and wellbeing of your children... as should be yours. So I suggest that the pair of you stop badmouthing each other to the authorities, stop point-scoring, do whatever it takes to bury the hatchet, present a united, competent and harmonious front to the social workers and take things forward as a team. If you can't achieve that together then maybe some time apart would be advisable.

Wow I think you did the right thing. I know that now social services are involved you are going to have to do something about your situation but surely that can only be a good thing. You have a three week old baby and a H who throws a paddy when you ask him not to play loud music? Is H sleep deprived? It doesn't sound like it if he's pumping out loud music; that's the last thing I'd want to do after a few days on two or three hours broken sleep. He should be helping you.

My STBX during an argument the other day referenced an occasion when I was so severely sleep deprived in the early days with our LO that I got hysterical and was saying that I felt like hitting LO. In fact," said STBX in all seriousness, "it was so bad that I had to get out of bed!"