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Original poster

Post natal libido

8 replies

Soozi · 17/03/2004 09:54

Just wondered whenit perksup again. I had my wonderful daughter by emergency section 6 months ago and am still not interested. I don't have the excuse of being tired as she sleeps all night and has done since she was about 2 months old. I can't complain about feeling fat and frumpy coz I'm down to a size 8. I just don't feel sexy. Prior to being pregnant me and hubby were at it 2-3 times a week. During my pregnancy I was absolutely gagging for it but he was reluctant to have sex in case it harmed the baby which I can understand. Now we'd both like to get back into the swing of things and are keen for another but I seem to freeze at the thought of sex. We have lots of kissing and cuddling but I just can't get worked up about it. Any thoughts welcome.

OP posts:

charlieplus3 · 17/03/2004 09:59

Sorry Soozi. Cant help. Had my caeser 6 months ago too and so not up for it. Dont even want to kiss and cuddle incase it leads up to it. Dont think the section is to blame though as have had two previously and not affected me. Its just hard work parenting and too tired at end of day.

Sorry cant say anything posotive.

kaz33 · 17/03/2004 10:01

I had DS1 by emergency c-section and we didn't have sex for the first three months or so. It really took us a year before things got back to normal as we got used to the adjustments in our lives. We have now had DS2 who is 10 months old and it hasn't returned to normal, in fact its taking longer but we will get there.

Try having a cuddle in the afternoon when shes asleep, we always find we are more sucessful when our energy levels are higher. If we wait till bed time then all we want to do is sleep.

It sounds like your man is being understanding, stick in there - it will return yuo just need to be patient.

motherinferior · 17/03/2004 10:14

Don't forget that babies are terribly wearing, even when they sleep properly. Quite apart from your intense, passionate physical involvement with them.

If you can't manage the afternoon, how about early evening when you've just put her to bed?

twiglett · 17/03/2004 10:24

message withdrawn

motherinferior · 17/03/2004 11:01

Yes, giving it a go can work wonders for the old libido, believe me

nutcracker · 17/03/2004 11:23

Ds is 15mths now and there is no sign of it ever returnign

Bozza · 17/03/2004 11:55

Agree with the others about trying different times. The first time we managed after DS was born was about 4 in the morning - first time we both were awake and OK and DS was asleep!

Maybe you could get a babysitter for your DD? just wondered if that is putting you off - ie you can't switch off from your mothering role even if she is asleep.

wintye · 18/03/2004 23:11

I had my DS 4 1/2 months ago and I have no feeling for it either. (once the other night, but DS woke up and couldn't get it back after that). I have PND so that doesn't help. My partner is understading.

It wouldn't matter if I didn't have the kids for a week, caught up on all my sleep and had been well and truly pampered, I just don't feel that way at all.

Brad Pitt can keep walking as well.

Wish it would come back though. I think it would be a bit better for our relationship. Like I said, DP is ok with it but I don't think he would say no.

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