Sorry if this is going to sound like a huge winge, but things are getting on top of me.
Until 2 weeks ago I was really happy, I've 2 beautiful kids, a lovely fiance, about to move to a nice house, everything was great.
Then last Monday my fiance's best friend died, he'd been ill for a while so it wasn't totally unexpected, just a bit more sudden than we thought. Then that night I got a call saying my Dad is seriously ill in intensive care. I've been going to see my Dad every couple of days and though he's out of the IC now, he's very weak and not totally out of the woods.
We've been trying to be there for each other, while both going through our own problems and I thought things were calming down a bit, but we keep on rowing about stupid little things. I find myself picking on him about anything and everything. For example he's gone out tonight for his mates birthday and I've just had a complete wobbly with him for asking me to iron his trousers, not wanting any tea, not knowing what time he'll be home etc - stuff I usually don't care about. I get so mad and scream at him, then he goes and I think about what I've said and I think "why am I such a b*ch?". He said tonight that he feels like not coming home at all because of all this and now I'm scared that I'm going to drive him away, but I just can't seem to help myself. I want to phone him and say sorry, come home tonight, but I can't trust myself not to kick off at him again for saying the wrong thing to me.
I know its because I'm stressed at having to drive 30 miles to the hospital every few days, just to watch Dad sleep for an hour, trying to find someone to watch the kids, trying to sort Dad's flat out for if he ever goes back there and a million other things flying round my head.
I feel like I'm going mad!