Any women on here had an affair?

[Northerner]

Just curious really. I haven't and don't think I ever could, dh and I are happily married.

Just itrigues me cause I'm nosy. Does it happen as a symptom of an already doomed relationship or can you be happily married and stray?

Hear of lots of men doing it but I don't know of any women (except a friend whom I suspect but will never admit!)

I haven't but i think there has to be something wrong with your current relationship if you stray TBH otherwise why would you want to?

I could never see myself doing it, if i wasn't happy to the point of looking elsewhere i think i would just end it as i hope dp would if he wern't happy or attracted to another woman.

no I haven't but was (rather shamefully) unfaithful in other failing non-marriage relationships

someone I know (can't really call her a friend because she isn't!) has seemingly quite regular flings - but she does nothing but moan about her dh and how her family thinks she could have done better than him etc. etc. Poor bloke has been ill through stress because of the way she treats him!

not me , but then I did almost 20 yrs of research before I met the right man

I think an affair is a symptom not a cause of marriage breakdown.

I had an affair when I was married to ex-h . It was totally a symptom of our marriage going totally down the pan. We had got married quite young, me 21 him 24, but it was the only serious relationship either of us had experienced. Our lives changed quite a lot after we were married as I graduated and started work etc. I just started to realise that although ex-h was a nice bloke he just wasn't right for me; too quiet and reserved, not excited about much in life apart from his specific area of research. I simply couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with him anymore. It felt awful at the time as I had known him so long, since 15, we had effectively grown up together.

I had an affair with one of his friends. In retrospect it was obvious that we would get found out and we did. Ex-h and I tried to give it another go but tbh my heart was never in it. I loved now dp too much.

It wasn't easy for dp and I. Lots of mutual friends felt just as betrayed as ex-h did. Dp and I found it hard to change from having a turbulent secret relationship to having a normal everyday one and nearly split up. I felt that I'd made a huge commitment to dp just by leaving ex-h and he didn't seem ready to make the same level of commitment back, I think he was really scared by it all. I was also troubled by a deep sense of guilt for what I'd done to ex-h and an almost overwhelming sense of grief for the loss of the future that I'd thought we would have when we married.

Now I know that I've done the right thing. Life with dp has it's ups and downs, more so than ex-h and I had where the road was clearly flat as a pancake and no unexpected bumps were ever going to occur iyswim, but I feel very happy and very lucky. We work really well together and are good for each other.

I can't imagine having another affair. I know what a tremendous amount of hurt and distress it causes and I can't now imagine life without dp. He means the world to me and our life together with dd is all that I could wish for . My experience did put me off the idea of getting married again but now I think that I would like to marry dp. Ex-h lives in Scotland and has a dd with his new partner. I don't keep in touch with him but I certainly hope that he is happy too.

Sorry if this post is really long and dull but writing it has been helpful to me. Some of you may no doubt criticise my behaviour and I understand that. I too regret the betrayal of the affair but without it I wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

I had an affair w/a married man. When I was 19. He was 43.

My views about it are a bit different, perhaps b/c I had a European grandmother and lived in a lot of different places when I was young.

I have seen happily married people have long-term affairs - but whenever this was the case it was always when both parties were married and needed or wanted to stay that way.

i have been in a relationship with a married man. i wasnt in a relationship with anyone else. he is the father of my ds and that made things much worse.

i recently wrote a thread on here named need help and i have since ended the relationship as i know it was totally thw wrong thing to be doing and i know how it would feel for me if it was my dh.

i gave him the ultimatum of me or her but he states he has chosen her because of his dc he has with her. states he doesnt want to ruin their life or education but imo i think he just wanted his cake and eat it.

but at last i know in my heart i hve done the right thing and i now just need to concentrate on my ds.

I haven't ... well I'm not married, but haven't cheated on anyone. I doubt I could cheat on OH. Once I'm married that's it. I'm quite old fashioned in that respect & still think of marriage as a for life act. That's just my opinion which is possibly strange from coming from a teenage mother!!

I don't know of any women who've had an affair, but OH has worked with several men who had a wife & a girlfriend. (However, he has also worked with several men who have several ex-wifes due to having girlfriends while married!!!)

Yes I have had an affair. Was with previous dp for 8 yrs, then met now dh who I had an affair with for bout 6 weeks b4 split with previous partner.

Not proud of it, & would always chastise friends who had had affairs.

Dh & I are now 4 yrs down the line & realise I'd Never cheat on him, cos he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Was 17 when met previous partner, 25 when met my dh. Think you have to be 'ready' for that lifelong commitment before you say 'Yes, i'll be with this man till I die'

never cheated on anyone, and know that for me, there has to be something wrong with my relationship to want to. thought about having an affair with my dh when i was with my xp, but no ways would i have done it. just lusted quietly from a distance for a while, then ended my relationship and pounced!