Hi I am 35 and my husband is 43 we have been married since 2002 and we have 3 children aged 15 12 and 6. i found out 2 years ago when my husband works away he was calling and arranging to meet other women. I found this on his work mobile and work laptop. he was pretending to me he needed to stop away with work and he wasnt. he was meeting these women and paying them. we split for 6 months nearly and it was a long time but for some reason i agreed to take him back. he fooled me he was sorry and he was nice and polite and kind, the past two years this has gradually changed and he has now gone back to the angry selfish man he was before. the past two months he has been very cold with me. he comes home from work about 6pm-7pm eats the dinner i have made and goes directly to bed, he leaves at 6am to go to work. at weekends he comes home on the friday about 6 and apart from when he eats the food i make i dont see him. if he goes out he goes out for hours to do small tasks, like get stamps etc. he used to call me a dozen times a day and text me. now he does nothing. hes always on his work phone texeting and emailing and on the tablet i got him for xmas. 6 weeks ago he was away for the half term week working away, I suggested i go with him as my mother would have the kids, and he actually looked repulsed at the idea. he used every lame excuse in the book that i couldnt go. i home school the youngest two, and despite me saying its half term, he said i couldnt go because of the home schooling! and other excuses. on the thursday he called me and said he had to work overtime on the friday in london, i later found out he wasnt paid for this "over time" he phoned me about 3pm on the friday and told me he had got to the london hotel, and despite me calling and texting him lots of times he didnt get back to me until after 10am on the saturday morning. he said he had just gone to sleep. he told me he had got scratched and bruised at work on the phone, just blurted it out, sounded odd. he came home after about 6pm, this is 6 weeks ago, since then he has been really cold and angry at me, ive not been able to go near him. his work receipts show he wasnt in london at all. he was in peterborugh, near where he used to work. meaning he has spent out money on a hotel etc. he had nearly 500 pounds for his birthday and xmas and thats all gone. on nothing to show for it. (from his family not me). that week despite all the time ive known him just wearing boxer shorts, he wore shirts and a jumpers around the house, and he didnt want me near him all that week. covering up these so called scratches. he keeps his mobile locked and the laptop and tablet locked. they are all locked with a password, pass code and finger print. i know he lied to me and he wasnt where he said he was. the receipts dont lie. he doesnt even want to be in the same room as me. he then was on the phone to a work colleague and told them he got scratched and bruised earlier in the week, and hes not told them he worked over time and thats really odd. he speaks to them all every day for hours at a time. I cant even talk to him or look at him in the face. I know he lied to me. he criticises my food, the way i do the house, and anything i do. all this has made me ill. firstly i was blaming myself. then took me ages to realise it was his choice to do this. this is my first post really here. i dont know what to do. been feeling so ill. we have 3 disabled children and i am disabled myself. I do it all anyway so wouldnt lose anything if he left. he doesnt help or do anything around the house. thanks for reading the essay x