Really feeling fed up today. It feels like no one around me respects me at all. On the surface I am successful and confident but in reality people who are close to me show me very little respect.
I have a history of emotionally abusive relationships, starting with my older sister and continuing throughout my life with friendships and my marriage.
Two years ago the penny dropped and I realised that although there were lots of positives in our marriage, there was emotional abuse too. I confronted dh and told him it had to stop. He took it all on board and has been on a year long respect course. I had several sessions of hypnotherapy to help with resolving the original abusive relationship with my sister. Things have improved immeasurably, obviously we are both human and slip up sometimes and I feel like we are having a blip right now where he isn't supporting me. To make things enormously more complicated we run a business together with several employees and also have two children, one of whom has special needs.
I also feel like the children have no respect for me and my employees don't either. There is so much low level stuff; ignoring instructions, white lies etc. Its difficult for me to speak out though as I know that my response tends to be over emotional. I know I have to change my behaviour and not allow them to manipulate me. I can't change other people's behaviour but I can change my own.
I'm having hypnotherapy again and maybe what I am feeling now is the initial backlash of those around me trying even harder to manipulate me because I am not responding in the expected way. I need to hang on in there but today it is hard...