terrified after finding truth about potential online date

[whitedoorbell]

so am new to online dating. been chatting to a few guys.
one in particular was really friendly and seemed sweet and fun.
he sent me his number and my phone found him on Facebook thru the friend finder tool. so I had a look at his profile and it all seemed to match what he had told me.
then for some reason I thought I would google his full name... which I got from Facebook and his home town etc. it came up with a load of links to newspapers about him being convicted of possession of child porn images and beastiality and of stealing the identity of a 13 year old girl and going on sex sites etc.

he got a community order and put on the sex offenders register and banned from the town he told me he used to live in.
I am 100% sure it is him and text him saying sorry I wasn't interested in a relationship at the moment. and he text back saying "you found out"

point is though that I am now exhausted wondering what could have happened if I hadn't felt the urge to do my research? I have 3 kids who could have met him... it doesn't bear thinking about.

now feeling a mixture of horror and relief!

just wondering. .. is it standard to do your homework like this when online dating cos I am so glad I did

I wouldn't go out with anyone that has not provided me with a name, surname, telephone and who I had not found reference to by googling. I have avoided a few nutters and some married men that way.

I normally pass those details to a friend before I go, telling her also a what time I am expected back. It is the normal security drill we follow at work when doing home /site visits.

Don't be ashamed of the detective work. I think its fine to do this and in your case definitely turned out for the best! To be honest these days the info is so easy to find so why should you be ashamed of checking, especially when it's a stranger so you have no mutual friends to vouch for the person, you have to look out for yourself and your kids. Glad the police took an interest and I agree possibly notify the dating site? Tho not sure if they can do anything to ban him or stop him

OP your detective work obviously paid off and well done following your gut reaction.

surprised he didnt just change his name tbh

Horrible, but you could have met him in real life, so this isn't an internet issue per se.

twinkle you are right. except if I met him in real life I would probably be more trusting... so maybe the caution of the internet dating is safer after all!

chloe don't think the dating site can do much. police said they don't allow under 18s so they have probably covered their backs
it says you can only report them to admin on dating site for offenses relating to their profile. I guess otherwise it could just be sour grapes.
moral of the story... do your homework ladies and stay safe

I would still report to the dating site -- they would be mad to risk the negative publicity if he uses their site to date women with children and commit offences.

All those sites have human monitors in place to respond to complaints or make sure people aren't sending unsolicited porn, etc. -- at the very least they might flag his account and keep an eye on him.

Maybe they won't do anything but it doesn't hurt to tell them.

I can't fathom why you are ashamed of digging into it. There's no reason to feel bad about protecting yourself.

Well done OP you diid the right thing. Glad you got a good police officer.
And I also google people as would prospective employers etc. It is a sensible thing to do.

If there is an option for 'prefer not to say' next to children on dating site I would check that. Everyone assumes you have kids but it excludes from searches looking for people with kids iyswim.
I don't mention /talk about my dc until I have found out a bit about the person and if tgey are too interested in them I back off. Even then I doubt it is enough if they are properly devious

Glad you told the police

Well done you! Keep your standards high, accept nothing at face value. It could have been so much worse. Christ - children and animals eeeek!

Don't worry, not every male out there has the same erm interests (let's call it), one day you find someone who is a genuine non pervy guy, who, if he is mentioned anywhere, it is only for good things such as charity work, best vegetable in show, saved a kitten from drowning or winner of the nobbly knees contest!