how much do looks matter?

[yummytummy]

So being recently single thought I would try online dating. Started chatting to this guy and really clicked in a similar situation and just seemed lovely. Then swapped pics. Obviously a pic isnt always a great representation but u get a general idea.

So he is ok but just really not my type, quite short and bald. But I do like him a lot for personality and connection. I guess what I am asking is has anyone felt that initially and then been able to develop the attraction over time? Is it essential to feel that thing of fancying someone straight away or can it grow?

And is it fair to date him when I am not sure?

Aaaargh dating stuff is so stressful and its true from threads on here that there seems to be a huge lack of nice guys in this age group of mid thirties as all decent ones are married.

There's a good way to find out ...

Really sorry your ex did that to you! One of my great-aunt's lessons might be helpful here: "When you are the only naked woman in the room, you're the only woman in the world!"

Plus, obv, if you don't feel it don't do it. You have the right to say No at any point. How about seeing how it goes?

that sounds awful if ex treated u in this way. and when a relationship ends its hard to start again with someone new. take it one step at a time. deal with the kissing bit first then if its right you can and will work out how to get onto anything else

Feck orf Twinkle "perverse relationships" what utter bullshit. When did I ask for your judgement and opinion on my relationships or outlook? When did I throw personal insults at you? The OP asked for opinions on if looks were important and to me, they are. If you're happy to shag a hippodogamouse then more power to you, it's great you're obviously not shallow and can get jiggy with someone you don't find physically attractive, personally I can't and must be pickier and need the full package but don't bloody start on me about my relationships unless you want me to do the same about you.

Do what your gut says OP, go on the date, maybe it's a bad photo, but don't feel pressured to keep at it unless you want to, if the attraction isn't there it isn't there.

Yummy as far as I've been told men like something to grab hold of so don't worry about your size. A nice soft round booty feels better between the sheets than a skinny boney bum (and I have the boney variety!) - sounds like your ex was just an insecure, controlling, nasty, abusive wanker. Go for it.

Random thanks but I wd say I am in between the soft round and boney variety! Ex its true just used to want to hurt me but it worked

I find that I'm as much attracted to mannerisms as looks and you can't judge that from a photo. Also, the parts of body that I'm most attracted to on DH are less obvious, like his shoulders, back and hands. It's about the way he stands and holds himself. DH is the only blonde man I've ever been with, I've never been attracted to a blonde before but there's just something that connected us.

You should definitely meet him and check out if the connection turns into real life chemistry.
One the flip side, I once thought I'd found my soulmate, the mental connection was unreal. However, he had this way of clapping his hands when talking. It turns out that was a mannerism that I find a sexual turnoff for whatever bizarre reason. So you really can't predict this stuff based on a photo. If I'd just seen a photo and chatted online to this guy, I'd have married him. However in person it was all wrong.

I certainly wouldn't recommend taking the experiment to the lengths of sex like Random if you don't feel a physical attraction. If you do though, don't go back for more after you've discovered they disgust you, that's really not good for either of you!

I don't think you can tell from a picture if you are going to fancy someone. I met a guy a few months ago, he was stunning in his pictures. He had been a model and when we met, he looked much the same but I didn't fancy him, I couldn't imagine "doing things" with him.

Then I met a short balding guy with a beard of average height and looks who has the most amazing eyes and voice and he is sex on legs to me. Despite having been with just one person in 16 years and having little prior experience, we got our kit off in less than two hours of meeting. And I agree with Garlic I think smell plays a huge part, because when I leave him in the morning I can smell him in my hair, can't stop sniffing my hair all day! So my advice go along and meet him, and when it comes to sex, if you fancy him and he likes you, your inhibitions and lack of experience won't matter a jot, if you are attracted to someone and there is a spark, it happens naturally to be good because of this.