This will be long I'm sorry I just need to clear my thoughts.
I've known my parter for over 10 years. First as a friend of my parents then as a customer when I did pub work and then as a friend. I knew him when he walked out on he's long time partner on holiday to move in with hes new gf. I was around when he split up with her a couple of years later after treating her like shit in the hopes she would dump him. When I left pub work I stayed friend with him, he's first ex and went on a couple of dates with he's son. It didn't work with the son, and the friendship with the ex fizzled out as she didn't like that as a single mum I cant go out drinking every weekend and girly nights at home whilst my daughter slept wasn't her cup of tea.
anyway my partner used to come over as a friend and we'd watch tv, have a chat etc eventually we started to go on days out with my dd and then one day he made a pass at me. Since then in private we have been a couple but in public we are just friends which has been going on for a year now. We have now reached the point where we either need to come out or end things. He wants to come out and always has done, it's always been my choice to stay secret. My isses are he is over twice my age. I dont find him physically attractive, I dont know if I'm with him because im fed up being alone. Other than a few failed attemps at dating I've been a single mum for 10 years now.
I don't know what to do. Do I continue how we are which is making him unhappy, come out and tell everyone, or end it and hope we can stay friends? I'm feeling so confused and like such a bad person.