New man can't get hard

[Limpparsnip]

I am a long long term poster but have NC for this as it's a bit embarrassing.

I have been seeing a guy from work for a while. I resisted at first because he comes with a bit of baggage (so do I tbh) and I didn't want to complicate our lives. He wore me down though by being SO attentive and basically charming the pants off me!

It's been 2 months of sexual frustration and flirting but we finally got in a position to have sex and... Nothing. He just couldn't get hard at all. I am surprised how hard I have taken this (no pun intended), I just felt like he lost his desire, although he seemed quite angry with himself and said it had happened just because he liked me so much and was nervous.

Could that really be the case and what's to say it won't happen every time we try to have sex? I know it wasn't his intention but it felt like a fairly big rejection of me when I was at my most vulnerable.

God, I just feel terrible about the whole thing. I'm seriously thinking about calling time (as nicely as possible) on the whole relationship because I don't know how to deal with this.

The ED I'd handle by going on a date during or after which there is no possibility of you having sex. During the date I would say something along the lines of wanting to clear the air about the other night, after which you'll happily not speak about it again if he would prefer not to, but which you want to say your piece about it. Then say all the right things about it being due to nerves, happens to the best of people, hasn't put you off, he doesn't need to feel any pressure, etc. Then invite him to comment or change the subject as he'd prefer. It will hopefully stop it being the elephant in the room the next time you get so personal.

However, your OP concerns me. The talk about baggage suggests that one or both of you isn't in the ideal position to be embarking on a relationship and the speed at which it's happened, his relentless charm offensive and the fact that he's a colleague could indicate a whole bunting of red flags. Please be careful.