I keep posting on here but really need support and an idea if others have been in my situation. A couple of months go I was set up on a date with a recently separated man, it really fucked me up. He was nice and kind and probably a bit shocked that a ran off! He gave me his business card in case I changed my mind which in hindsight is funny. I was sexually assaulted 5 yeArs ago and have never told anyone. I have also been through a lot of abuse in my life. I just could not handle it. I've been alone 10 years and really could not cope. I contacted my friends and spoke to them but since then they have been COLD in the extreme. No calls, no texts, no contact at all. I often feel the butt of their humour anyway. I don't go out of an evening, I panic all the time, have dreadful anxiety attacks. can't get interested in things. I spend most of my time alone. I've been speaking to the Samaritans a lot and they have suggested that disclosing the assault was too much for my friends to deal with and it may be that things never recover. I've tried many times to speak to my GP and I'm on the waiting list for long term therapy. But it's been over two years now.
Do you think that I need to just let these friends simmer down or should I just move on. Looking back on things they are never really around and I'm always the outsider.