I know all above is going to lead to "leave the bastard"... I just need to know I'm not going mad and making this out to be more then it is.
Back ground story: been together 5 and bit years. It's had it rough patches but always worked through them, and now have a DD who is 20 months old.
A few months back, OH borrowed my spare phone as he was broken. He's into all of his technology so the phone wasn't good enough. He got another second hand phone which was slightly better but the battery was terrible on it, so was using my phone as a back up when his phone was charging. I asked for my phone back to check my old contract SIM as only certain people have my new number. Which he mumbled about going to his mum's, then I could have it back after. He came back in not even ten minutes later making up an excuse that he called his mum from the car. She was out. Fine, but then he gave me back the phone, he had taken out my memory card. I asked him why he done this, and he said that he didnt want his stuff saving onto my memory card. I replied something along the lines of, " you wouldn't of taken it out if you didn't have anything to hide". He didnt reply. My gut feeling was to check, every folder stored on it. I found a picture of this girl I know, and a picture of his male friend. When I question him, he said that his male friend had sent him the picture of the girl cause the friend still got a thing for her. This could be genuine BUT I also know that my OH had a thing with this girl before we were together.. Red flag number 1?
A few weeks back we were cuddling on the sofa, he was on his phone and an icbon popped up with some wording. He cleared the status bar pretty quickly. So I asked what it was. He said it was an gaming app that kept sending him notifications so he uninstalled the app before he even finished the sentence.. hmm. Red flag number two?
OH finally got a decent phone but then DD jumped on it. The touch screen stopped working. So back to using my phone. This time I asked for it to check my SIM again, there was excuse after excuse. He let me use his phone to check my SIM but was Very cagey with his phone. I wasnt allowed to touch it orginally. I made the point of it being my SIM, I can do it myself. He turned the phone around to show me no messages. I also needed to check voice message. He was fiddling about on his phone, for a few seconds then he dialed it and gave me the phone. After, I cut the call, there was loads of incoming and out going calls from un saved numbers. I asked who they all were, he said it was people from gumtree ringing him about ad that he was looking for a phone. This also could be true, but cause of his earlier actions, gut feeling saying it's completely dodgey. Red flag number 3?
So, last night I finally got access to my spare phone, which him knowing. I took out my memory card and looked into it again. Stored under Whattsapp profile pictures, were pictures of three girls. I havn't confronted him yet, I know he will simply talk it down. Red flag number 4?
I was on my playstore for apps when that icon from the very beginning of the post came up in the suggested box. "LOVOO" very distinctive, heart made up of brightly colours segments. Anyway, I downloaded, and made a fake profile. No picture though. I searched through the area's he could of could of put down as his home town but nothing came up. You can't search by name. I'm now kicking myself that it didn't show him on there, and my thinking is that if he is on one, he's on more. Red flag number 5?
In general, he is always on his phone. When he laughs or makes a silly face I ask him about it. He said it's his male friends in a whattsapp group chat together, having a bit of banter. Sometimes, he shows me, other's he don't. In the last few weeks I've stopped asking him. From finding the pictures of the girls, I'm now wondering if he is actually talking to them, and the banter is actually them flirting.
He is really guarded with his phone too. Always in his pocket. Sleeps with it under the pillow. If I try to get the remote control, he asks what I'm doing, and passes it me. His laptop is password protected, and I wouldnt even have a clue where to start to guess any of his account passwords. I also have limited access to his Facebook page. He has said he has tried to sort it out, and I'm not the only one who can't access it all (family members have the same problem). I think he has put some sort of app on my tablet that stores passwords too. I've changed my Fb and email passwords because I was hacked, and made sure I logged out of them all, and didn't use the save password option. Went back on to it, and both are signed in after he had been using it. All be fat red flags?