Jekyll and Hyde

[teenagersknowall]

just wondering. is it normal for your husband/partner to be really grumpy in the morning bit Mr Nice Guy in the evening. i can time when i know he's going to be in a good mood and when he's not. Just put up with it?

Some people are just not 'morning' people. I'm one of them, takes me a while to fully get into the day. But I'm not rude or snappy to anyone, just less talkative.

Depends on your definition of 'grumpy'. Some people are not good company in the mornings - bit quiet and want to be left to wake up. Others need some food inside them before they spark into life.... mildly hypoglycaemic. Someone who drinks alcohol in the evening might struggle to get going in the morning. If he has interrupted sleep because of snoring, ditto. How's his general health?

But if you mean 'grumpy' in a more serious way... angry, verbally abusive, unpleasant .... then that's not IMHO acceptable.

DP can be quiet & unsmiley in the mornings but after 30 mins he's back to normal.

Ex H was a bastard in the mornings due to cocaine abuse & this was not acceptable.

Give an example of 'grumpy' OP, how bad is it?

thanks for replies Mners. He's picky. not aggressive or abusive. He doesn't drink much either. It just gets me down because I'm waiting for what the problem will be that morning. This mornings' problem was shirts. I hadn't got the one he wanted to wear with his suit ironed. But, i had ironed 3 others. He then says its ok, this one will be fine. But it quite obviously isnt. i want to tell him to feck off. I'm not his maid. etc etc, but that will lead to a row. He often phones and says sorry for being cranky. he's got a lot on at work and i have said his moods are not acceptable any more. tbh i don't take any shit off him and he has taken on board what i've said. there was a huge improvement for a few weeks, but its creeping back in again. Maybe i'm too sensitive or something. I lack the backbone to stand up to him.

He may not be aggressive or abusive but what you're describing is 'bullying' and it's unacceptable - as is the ridiculous excuse of 'having a lot on at work'. No matter how bad a time anyone is having outside the home, it is no justification for punishing those they are meant to love. None whatsoever.

You have to stand up to bullying every step of the way because, as you've found, it can be squashed if you don't cave. 'Feck off'... possibly not the right phrasing :) but always be assertive.

thank you Cogito. you are a wise owl. i think we have messaged each other before.