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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Disabled single parent and dating - what are the chances? Advice please!

1 reply

shesays · 24/03/2014 16:20

Given the problems everyone has of finding decent available men after 40, I was wondering what chance I'd have as a single parent with ME/CFS? Would love any advice on this!

I've been ill for four years and currently housebound but can get out on a good day. For some reason it doesn't seem to have stopped my interest in blokes though.

I've been single for the one + half years after my last relationship became increasingly abusive and ended horribly. So - loads of baggage and not well to boot. But I'm just finding my feet again, and have a lovely circle of female friends and would now love to start a relationship with someone.

I have a single male friend that I've seen a lot of recently - once or so every week for the last month who is in the friend zone at the moment. He comes over for a coffee and sometimes takes ds out when I can't. He's really kind, and I'm just getting to know him. He's not perfect ie. much older than me, skint etc but spends time with me and ds likes him. I miss him when he's not around.

I'd love to have a relationship with him but don't know how to go about it. Its been nearly 20 years since I was single, and I feel awkward about jumping on him! I'm so out of practice:-) I'm also ashamed of being ill and needing help. I'm not a great catch cos I'm so ill, but i suppose I can scrub up pretty well (when I'm not feeling crap).

However not sure if he's there out of sympathy,as I've mostly been the one to instigate contact. But he is friendly and seems to want to meet, but any vague physical contact has just been, well vague. I'm scared that he would be mortified if I came onto him!

Any suggestions on what to do without making a complete tit out of myself?

Or even any advice about being disabled and dating in general?

OP posts:
HogiBear27 · 24/03/2014 17:56

I didn't want to read and run, though not sure what advice to offer.

I think if you tell this guy how you feel it may scare him off if he doesn't feel the same way. You may need to ask yourself if telling him is worth it, at least until you have had more time time to work out how he feels.

I hope that things work out.

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