unreasonable to leave baby with MIL when not sleeping through night?

[sunflower74]

hello everyone - 1st post

my new baby is almost 10 weeks and gets up once during night for a 20 min feed then goes straight back to sleep and is there til about 7am

our relationship has suffered a bit recently with tiredness and we need a night out

b/f has a rare sat night off work so asked his mam to have baby - she said ok to him but is making me feel awkward

when i spoke to her and asked if she sure it would be ok she went silent then said "well lets see what happens tomorrow"!
totally confused i asked what she meant and she said "well i will call over tomorrow and we will see how he is"
she was then very cagey and i felt very uncomfortable

she is 68ish and we do get on really well - i dont want to put onto her at all
however - she has her other 2 grandchildren almost every weekend.
the 3-year-old grandson wets the bed so she is up changing sheets or taking him to loo quite a few times during night
and the other 4 month old is a handful - albeit sleeps through the night....

any thoughts?????

Im sure it will be fine, you need a break and i'm sure your MIL will understand that and help you out for one night (after all its only one night).

If she can manage with the other grandchildren then she should be able and willing to look after yours.

Go out and have fun

Not sure if this will help but my own mum would be scared to keep my baby over night (also 10 weeks). She lost a baby at 8 weeks and the pressure of having the responsibility of such a new baby would be too much for her. Maybe your MIL is just scared and having full responsiblity for your DS for a whole night is daunting.

Hope you work something out

Ask her if she is happy doing it outright. Tell her that its okay if she doesnt want to do it, its understandable when they are at such a young age.

thanks very much for replies

i have asked her outright and she just said "no its ok" but in a very unconvincing manner
i wont be able to go out and relax knowing my baby is somewhere he isnt wanted

i am also extremely stubborn

i dont think its anything to do with being scared as she is the "this is the way its done" type. (v sad to hear of awful baby loss tho joannie2)

oops and sorry she is 58 not 68 !!!

i do feel a bit annoyed/jealous(???) when she always has the other 2 and not ours
and this is just adding fuel to the fire
although she is always calling her son and d-i-l for them leaving the kids with her "again"

Perhaps she isn't happy because you think she's ten years older than she is (joke)

I wonder if she's just worried that it will become a really regular thing and that she won't cope with having three grandchildren to stay at different times. Maybe she regrets having got into the habit of having the other children so often but feels obliged to have them as their parents expect it? If so perhaps you could reassure her by saying how great it is for her to have him, you are really grateful but it puts her under know obligation to have him again?