He wont go without a fight

[dontwanttobeamug]

I'm back posting about "him" again.

I posted a week or so ago about finishing in with my partner (who wastes money on daft things and is lazy etc etc).

The thing is he is really not taking in well and has gone from being aggressive about it to practically begging me for a second chance. He's making me feel like I'm being unreasonable, he's saying his money habits have changed now and he's changed etc and that I should at least give him one more chance to prove it. I've told him over and over again that I'm not prepared to waste any more time on it (Ive wasted over a year already) but he's not having it and keeps on and on, he's still coming for that stupid playstation on saturday too so god knows what I'm going to be faced with person to person.

It's really getting me down, how would you handle this? should I just give him another chance? maybe he genuinly has changed?

please..............

HE IS A LOSER, LITTLE BOY, SPONGING WASTER.

MOVE ON

GOODBYE.

Leave the PS on the doorstep and GO OUT.

Its finished, get some self respect......... sorry

LST x

Leave the Playstation outside on the doorstep. Do not fall for this crap, he has not changed he just doesn't like getting his own way. You need a partner not another child.

Obviously I meant not getting his own way!

Having read your other threads I think you'd be mad to give him another chance. IIRC it wasn't just about the money but his complete lack of respect for you and your children.

I too would leave the playstation on the doorstep or arrange for someone else to hand it over.

You leave the PlayStation outside - at a time specified by text.

And by the sounds of it you are possibly scared of how he'll be when he turns up ..... so PLEASE arrange for someone else to be there with you.

This should also give you extra resolve when you REFUSE to discuss this any more with him and shut the door in his face as soon as he's been handed his toy.

DON'T let him in ...... he will only whinge and whine yet more, trying to chip away at you.

You have already given him umpteen chances and he was too pig-headed and too selfish to change his ways then. The only reason - sorry to be blunt - that he's pleading with you now is, quite frankly - because you're convenient ...... a handy "shag" when he decides to see you, free meals (and other entertainment) laid on and, due to the distance, none of that annoying "effort" a real man would feel obliged to put into the relationship.

What's more - he has frightened your children and for that reason ALONE he should have been shown the door months ago.

I thought he was coming last weekend .......... why don't you post the wretched thing (as suggested before) and avoid him coming down altogether.

You would be absolutely mad to give him another chance - why on earth do you imagine he's changed over the last 10 days ? ........ he'll have been at his mum's (if I recall) being waited on hand and foot, buying more crap and feeling sorry for himself. The only "evidence" of any change is his self-pitying emotional blackmail ..... it is almost certainly a pride thing and he can't bear the thought that someone who he treated so appallingly has finally found the wherewithall to actually stand up to him.

Your children - and you - deserve far far better than this "man". Being alone is better than this "man" (if that's why you're dithering).

Please refuse to engage in any discussion with him. Why have you told him "over and over" it's finished ? ...... tell him once, twice maybe, but after that screen his calls and delete his texts. This "man" has nothing to say which could be of any interest to you so why respond ?

Great post catsmother!

I'm not 100% on your situation but judging by some of the responses on this thread then he never deserved you in the first place let alone all this time later. Think about the life you wanted for your children when you first saw that positive test and work out if that's what's going to happen if you crumble and take him back. From the sounds of it its not and you have to be strong, stand up for yourself and follow through. The hardest decision is always the one to leave. As a child who grew up with a mum who chose the easy option more than once all I can say to you is your children really are the ones you have to think about in the long run. What would they prefer to see, a happy mum on her own or an unhappy one that they will worry about?

no more chances. cut all contact. leave the ps on the doorstep.

Text to arrange a time for him to pick up PS, leave on doorstep as others have said.

Then go out. He can't confront you then. If his precious toy gets damaged that's his look out.

Dontwanttobe,

Does the word 'duh' mean anything to you?

Here, here, lemontree!

The very fact that all this man has to take from your relationship is a playstation -speaks volumes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry to sound harsh, but I recall you've asked for opinions on him before and the message couldn't be any clearer- he's no good- yet you still have doubts about ending it?. If you continue to let someone treat you like a doormat you will become one......he has treated you like a teenage boy treats a landlady (without the rent).
move on, have no more contact and do not even engage him in conversation, he's bad news...I agree post the playstation it's money well spent to get him out of your life.

send him a text which says:

"ps in post, away for the weekend, do not text me again, it's over, good-bye".

Then post his play station to him and go out for the day on Saturday just in case he decides to visit. After that delete his number from your phone and refuse to engage in any further conversation with him. If he persists tell him you will call the police and have him charged with harrassment.

Well he came for the playstation at 3pm yesterday afternoon, he stayed until gone midnight going on and on and on at me, I had a thumping headache which I get whenever I get stressed and when he realised I wasnt going to give in and have him back he asked if we could have one last quickie!!! .

I couldnt get rid of him and was becoming more and more stressed at him going on at me that I said I would consider it after christmas...just to get rid.

So he took the playstation, went home and I thought "great, nothing left here for him to come back for" and he sent a text earlier today saying he'd fogotten his controller.

Post the controller to him so that he can't collect it.
Don't let him back in to have a go at you.
Make it very clear you will not be sleeping with him ever again.

Haven't read your other threads, but from reading the comments on this one, I'm not sure why you met up with him at all. I think I would have taken the advice of those who suggested that you leave the PS on the doorstep and go out for the day. Anyway, he's gone now, so I really would advise you to ignore him. Failing that I'd suggest you text him, tell him that you've thrown the PS controller away, and advise he gets a new one from eBay!

DontWantTobeaMug

Post the controller back to him and insist there is no further contact. If he persists report him to the police for harrassment.

You will be the mug if you end up taking him back; he is using emotional blackmail on you. You to him are convenient and he uses you as a convenience. Now his convenience i.e you has decided to call it a day he doesn't like it!!. If you take him back he'll be good for two weeks then back to his old ways. Guaranteed.

I presume you let him in despite advice to the contrary as he was there until midnight. Small wonder you got a headache with his constant ear bashing. You were warned this was going to happen.

Why have you let him treat you like this up till now?. What on earth possessed you to have an immature manchild like him for a potential partner anyway?. Perhaps you wanted to rescue him from his demons and/or save him with your kindness.

You need to ask yourself these questions and look carefully at your own self to get answers. You have much work on your own self esteem and worth to do as this man has done a bang up job of bringing you down.

Better to walk alone than to be badly accompanied.

my god! he cornered you for SEVEN hours and HARANGUED you! definitely post the controller back to him and cut contact. i once had someone visit me who just wouldn't leave, so i threatened calling the police and he left. you HAVE to play hard ball with these types.

i'll bet you he didn't leave the controller by mistake. he got you to agree to sex after xmas (or in his mind that's what he thinks), so he thinks he can push you further. he's hoping to pop round, pick it up, and bully you into sex. don't give him the opportunity.

what a complete wankery tosser.

FFS ..... I can't believe this is still going on.

For heaven's sake, post the wretched stupid controller and anything else that belongs to him (go through your house with a fine tooth comb so there's NOTHING he can use as a future excuse) by Special, trackable, signed for, the whole caboodle type delivery (so he can't deny he's never received it) and then, if you can't ignore and/or screen his calls, change both your mobile and landline numbers.

How utterly and totally pathetic that you had to "promise" to have sex with him after Christmas just to get rid. I mean, get real here, what sort of patheric worm extracts a promise of nookie in more than 4 months time ?

How revolting that he should beg for a last quickie for that matter. Where is his self respect, let alone his respect for you ?

It'd be laughable if I wasn't also concerned that this selfish little creep still seems to exert power over you .....

..... why on earth did you not post the bloody PS ? Why didn't you leave it on the doorstep as a 2nd choice ? Why did you let him in at all ?

He treats you like something he stepped in .... so why would anything he said be of any interest whatsoever to you ?

NINE HOURS sounds positively psychotic - it is nowhere near normal and yes, if he refused to leave, you should have called the police. What on earth would your children have thought seeing him there (and presumably hearing all the arguing, begging) ? TBH, if someone "wouldn't leave" for 9 hours, it sounds to me as if you were too frightened to be more assertive and tell him to leave. That's dangerous and totally unhealthy.

None of this persistence is about wanting to be with you, it's about a misplaced sense of pride - I can tell you now that (not even very) deep down he knows bloody well that he has treated you appallingly. But he's done so because you allowed him to and some sick creeps get a kick out of having a compliant woman at their beck and call. He doesn't want you back ..... he simply wants the "control" back, and the convenience (when he chooses) of a quick shag and a meal he doesn't have to pay for himself.

I can't say it any clearer than this - this revolting pathetic selfish tosser sounds as if he could be potentially dangerous. His behaviour is not normal and you need to extricate yourself from it NOW. You blank him, you do not engage in any communication with him, or let him into your home. If necessary, you call the police and get an injunction.

You do not have to take any of this. I am agog that you let him in - why ?